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Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World 
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Any filmmaker who wished to revise their past films would be required to sign a contract in which they agree that the original versions of these films will continue to be properly restored and released on any future home video format.


Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:04 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ShrunkenHead wrote:
Any filmmaker who wished to revise their past films would be required to sign a contract in which they agree that the original versions of these films will continue to be properly restored and released on any future home video format.


What are you saying? That Han should shoot first? That the FBI agents should have actual weapons instead of walkie-talkies? Clearly you have no idea because all that matters is what the director wants. The movie doesn't belong to the audience, they have to take whatever is doled out and be grateful for it.


Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:55 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Uhh I'm pretty sure he's just saying if they remaster the movie for dvd, they need to also continue to offer the unmastered version


Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:17 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
If I were king of the movie world, I would have all of the movie theaters and DVDs destroyed and build a single, all consuming monolith of a theater somewhere in South America. People can travel to this theater from all around the world, and are free to stay for as long as they like. When seated, viewers are given a powerful flashlight capable of shining four lights, red, indigo, yellow, and green. Anyone is allowed to produce a movie, but once it is finished, the director and his staff must accompany their movie as it is shown at this monolith. Once the movie has been shown, the viewers will shine their flashlights. Many different amounts of the four colors will probably be shown, but as time goes on, the colors will blur and mass together until they present a single position. If the colors form red overall, the director and his staff are executed there at the monolith, and the movie is destroyed forever. If it shows Indigo the director and his staff are allowed to leave, but their movie is destroyed and they may not return to the monolith. If the color forms yellow, the director and his staff are not punished, and their movie is allowed to survive, but they are not rewarded. If the movie receives a green light, it is saved forever and placed in a position of honor at the monolith. The director and his staff are given riches, food, mansions, and women or men, as well as a special seat at the monolith, which signifies their wealth and power to the rest of the world.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:01 am
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ed_metal_head wrote:
I know this wasn't specifically what was asked, but I'd put a stop to "Hollywood Accounting". The very idea that Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter weren't profitable boggles the mind. The people responsible for these claims should spend time in jail.


Couldn't agree more. I think this is very much on-topic. What the bean counters are basically saying here is: C'mon, stop making high budget franchises, this is business, not fun!
It is the equivalent of saying: stop producing grand operas. All those set pieces... do you know how expensive plywood has become? And fabric for all those costumes! And what? A 110 piece orchestra? Can't you take away a few dozen of the violins - there are so many of them.....

Oh boy.....


Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:50 am
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ed_metal_head wrote:
ShrunkenHead wrote:
Any filmmaker who wished to revise their past films would be required to sign a contract in which they agree that the original versions of these films will continue to be properly restored and released on any future home video format.


What are you saying? That Han should shoot first? That the FBI agents should have actual weapons instead of walkie-talkies? Clearly you have no idea because all that matters is what the director wants. The movie doesn't belong to the audience, they have to take whatever is doled out and be grateful for it.


Please correct me if I'm wrong: but I think Ed was being sarcastic. He was mocking those ridiculous CGI corrections made to the DVD releases of Star Wars and E.T. , by Mr. Lucas and Spielberg respectively - the reason was political correctness. Next thing we know is: Indy doesn't shoot the guy, they will re-create the entire fight in motion captured CGI......

Ed: please correct me if I got that wrong.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:53 am
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Oooh err, I'm King of the Movie World?

1) All seats in theaters would be fitted with 100,000 volt wiring that would automatically go off if patrons talked or ate food like pigs. (I went to see The American in Ashland on Saturday evening and was surrounded by loud talking fat pink skinned creatures chowing on troughs of food).

2) All movie theaters would employ projectionists with eyes and ears and who cared a damn about what they were doing.

Rob


Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:28 am
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Threeperf35 wrote:
ed_metal_head wrote:
ShrunkenHead wrote:
Any filmmaker who wished to revise their past films would be required to sign a contract in which they agree that the original versions of these films will continue to be properly restored and released on any future home video format.


What are you saying? That Han should shoot first? That the FBI agents should have actual weapons instead of walkie-talkies? Clearly you have no idea because all that matters is what the director wants. The movie doesn't belong to the audience, they have to take whatever is doled out and be grateful for it.


Please correct me if I'm wrong: but I think Ed was being sarcastic. He was mocking those ridiculous CGI corrections made to the DVD releases of Star Wars and E.T. , by Mr. Lucas and Spielberg respectively - the reason was political correctness. Next thing we know is: Indy doesn't shoot the guy, they will re-create the entire fight in motion captured CGI......

Ed: please correct me if I got that wrong.


...and what if you got it right? Should I remain silent? :)

I dislike the attitude that the director can change whatever they want. Movies like Star Wars belong to the audience. In reality it was the audience who paid for the films by seeing it in theatres and buying all that merchandise. At least have the common decency to give people the movie they loved rather than tweak it to your liking.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:47 am
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
JJoshay wrote:
Also, the use of the song that starts around 15 seconds in the tv spot for Lottery Ticket. That song would never be used to advertise a movie aimed at a black demographic again if I was in control.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEreWD-FXcc


That would be "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder.

But I totally agree; some songs are wayyyyy overused. Primary offenders include "Walking On Sunshine" and James Brown's "I Feel Good."

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Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:28 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ed_metal_head wrote:
...and what if you got it right? Should I remain silent? :)


Yeah, I forgot to add. Please un-correct (=confirm) me if I'm right 8-) 8-) 8-)


Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:35 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
How about getting rid of a trailer that give the whole plot of the film in 1 - 2 mniutes.
In fact the would inisist that all trailers be made by monty python.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:49 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
p604 wrote:
How about getting rid of a trailer that give the whole plot of the film in 1 - 2 mniutes.
In fact the would inisist that all trailers be made by monty python.

I must be the only person on here who dosen't like Monty Python, anyways I would force all movie theaters to stop showing ads before films, trailers and behind-the-scenes stuff are perfectly fine, but I get bombarded by enough ads on TV and on the internet, so I have no desire to be subjected to it in theater as well.


Last edited by Vexer on Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:37 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Vexer wrote:
p604 wrote:
How about getting rid of a trailer that give the whole plot of the film in 1 - 2 mniutes.
In fact the would inisist that all trailers be made by monty python.

I must be th eonly person on here who dosen't like Monty Python, anyways I would force all movie theaters to stop showing ads before films, trailers and behind-the-scenes stuff are perfectly fine, but I get bombarded by enough on TV and on the internet enough, so I have no desire to be subjected to it in theater as well.



Amen Vexer; about the ads brefore films. Amen.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 2:35 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
My girlfriend and recently visited LA. It was pretty sweet.

One thing we did was check out Grauman's Egyptian Theatre. The movie showing on Saturday was 2001: A Space Odyssey. This was our second opportunity to see it in 70MM, which is a pretty big deal.

During the final section of the film, one member of the audience stood up and began shouting, "Don't sleep!" and "Everybody!" over and over again, turning in circles with his arms out. He was immediately greeted with a chorus of "Sit down!" and "Shut the fuck up!" Initially, the reason for his outburst was unclear, but it soon became apparent that he was in the midst of a good old-fashioned acid freak-out.

Sadly, he did not sit down and shut the fuck up. The yelling and manic whirling continued. Perhaps it was his goal to inspire a crowd to rise around him, which happened. But this crowd included an usher, who demanded that the guy's friends get him under control, several more people who simply gawped, and one fellow who apparently rushed down from the balcony with the sole purpose of punching this guy in the face. (Note: this was as ineffective as it was baffling.)

A few minutes passed, the house lights came up, and the movie stopped. Maybe a dozen people were surrounding this guy, whom, we learned, is named Robert. A few were making an effort to guide him down the aisle to get him out of the theater, but most just stood around saying things like "Get him out of here!" and other such things that a ridiculously unhelpful and penisless person might say.

After about 10 minutes total, the ineffectual group got the guy into the walkway area, while his idiot friend went on and on the whole time: "Come on, Robert, you can walk just fine. Hey, guys, we don't have to do this. He can walk." This was about as helpful as he got.

Eventually, six or so guys got Robert hoisted up, each limb immobilized, and physically carried him out into the lobby, where the police officers (nice response time) were waiting. At this point, knowledge of the situation deteriorates into hearsay. Some say the police tasered him. Some say he quickly aged and transformed into a Star Child. Nobody knows.

The management kindly rewound the film back to before the screaming began, but the experience wasn't quite the same.

Moral of the story: don't drop acid before a movie. It might be barrels of fun for you, but you might just screw it up for everybody else.*

(*Not that the incident wasn't amusing, but I was very glad to have already seen 2001 in 70MM, incident-free, on a previous occasion.)


Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:51 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Ha! Great story Ken. Gotta love Los Angeles man...

JamesKunz wrote:
+ Unless there's some legitimate reason (that has to be expressed to me personally) every movie must show its title before the film/during the first 20 minutes. I'm sick of how Avatar and The Dark Knight and a lot of other movies these days arbitrarily decide not to show the title. It's okay if you're Paranormal Activity and are trying to build an illusion that this is "found" footage, but for a normal movie, show your damn title.


Curious why you feel this way KunnieBear. I mean, don't you know the title of the movie you're watching? For me, I think its refreshing when a movie just starts...what do they call that, a cold start?

EDIT: I was off. A cold open it's called.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:02 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ram1312 wrote:
Ha! Great story Ken. Gotta love Los Angeles man...

JamesKunz wrote:
+ Unless there's some legitimate reason (that has to be expressed to me personally) every movie must show its title before the film/during the first 20 minutes. I'm sick of how Avatar and The Dark Knight and a lot of other movies these days arbitrarily decide not to show the title. It's okay if you're Paranormal Activity and are trying to build an illusion that this is "found" footage, but for a normal movie, show your damn title.


Curious why you feel this way KunnieBear. I mean, don't you know the title of the movie you're watching? For me, I think its refreshing when a movie just starts...what do they call that, a cold start?

EDIT: I was off. A cold open it's called.


Can you imagine if a book didn't have the title written anywhere? The title is a damn important part of a movie, and it should be displayed during the film.

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Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:19 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Ken wrote:
My girlfriend and recently visited LA. It was pretty sweet.

One thing we did was check out Grauman's Egyptian Theatre. The movie showing on Saturday was 2001: A Space Odyssey. This was our second opportunity to see it in 70MM, which is a pretty big deal.

During the final section of the film, one member of the audience stood up and began shouting, "Don't sleep!" and "Everybody!" over and over again, turning in circles with his arms out. He was immediately greeted with a chorus of "Sit down!" and "Shut the fuck up!" Initially, the reason for his outburst was unclear, but it soon became apparent that he was in the midst of a good old-fashioned acid freak-out.

Sadly, he did not sit down and shut the fuck up. The yelling and manic whirling continued. Perhaps it was his goal to inspire a crowd to rise around him, which happened. But this crowd included an usher, who demanded that the guy's friends get him under control, several more people who simply gawped, and one fellow who apparently rushed down from the balcony with the sole purpose of punching this guy in the face. (Note: this was as ineffective as it was baffling.)

A few minutes passed, the house lights came up, and the movie stopped. Maybe a dozen people were surrounding this guy, whom, we learned, is named Robert. A few were making an effort to guide him down the aisle to get him out of the theater, but most just stood around saying things like "Get him out of here!" and other such things that a ridiculously unhelpful and penisless person might say.

After about 10 minutes total, the ineffectual group got the guy into the walkway area, while his idiot friend went on and on the whole time: "Come on, Robert, you can walk just fine. Hey, guys, we don't have to do this. He can walk." This was about as helpful as he got.

Eventually, six or so guys got Robert hoisted up, each limb immobilized, and physically carried him out into the lobby, where the police officers (nice response time) were waiting. At this point, knowledge of the situation deteriorates into hearsay. Some say the police tasered him. Some say he quickly aged and transformed into a Star Child. Nobody knows.

The management kindly rewound the film back to before the screaming began, but the experience wasn't quite the same.

Moral of the story: don't drop acid before a movie. It might be barrels of fun for you, but you might just screw it up for everybody else.*

(*Not that the incident wasn't amusing, but I was very glad to have already seen 2001 in 70MM, incident-free, on a previous occasion.)


Well the place in L.A. to watch a movie is The Grove (near Farmers Market) . They probably didn't show 2001 at the time... went there twice (Master and Commander, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) back in 2003: nice sharp flawless projection (even though the latter was shot in BS digital) and quiet audience who actually took that pre-screening voice seriously. "Please refrain from talking!"


Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:18 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Ok, this required a bit of brainstorming...

1) A film has to be at least ten years old before being remade.
2) James Cameron is forbidden from quoting his own films.
3) A ban on adapting young fantasy books in a desperate bid to find the next Harry Potter (especially Star Wars ripoffs written by fifteen year olds)
4) Comic book franchises are given at least five films to flesh out their story and characters, instead of rebooting to the same origin story time and time again (if crappy low-rent slasher series can get 10 sequels, why not a superhero film?)
5) Any Superman film that gets made WILL NOT make any reference whatsoever to the Richard Donner film, will have a villain other than Lex Luthor and will feature Supes actually fighting someone, rather than lifting giant rocks.
6) Any filmmaker that "envisions a trilogy" from their initial film gets shot on the spot. In fact, any mention of "trilogies" is outlawed.
7) Comedic performances will be considered for awards.
8) Walt Becker is never allowed near a camera again.
9) Movies based on board games are finally recognized as the stupidest idea ever (with Clue being the sole exception).
10) Nerdy/Weirdo filmmakers are forbidden from casting their own hot girlfriends/wives repeatedly in their films as a means of showing them off: Tim Burton, Kevin Smith, Judd Apatow, etc.
11) George Lucas is forbidden from writing his own scripts.
12) Harrison Ford is forced to really act again, and actually enjoy it.
13) "I Will Survive" is never used in a film again, no matter what the version.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:12 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
The only acceptable excuse for shaky hand cam shots is that the cameraman legitimately suffers from epilepsy. Everyone else who puts those shots into films should have their hands broken with hammers.


Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:24 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Ragnarok73 wrote:
The only acceptable excuse for shaky hand cam shots is that the cameraman legitimately suffers from epilepsy. Everyone else who puts those shots into films should have their hands broken with hammers.


What's annoying is that hand-held cameras can be used for so much good. United 93 used hand-held cameras to brilliant effect. City of God does amazing things with them. But so many directors seem to think shaky = inherently good.

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Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:29 pm
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