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Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World 
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Post Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
There are some things that happen in movies that we all hate so much we want to ban. For some people it's remakes. For others, it's Michael Bay. Either way, you know that if you were King you would make a law so that no one would ever have to suffer through another goddamn retread of some TV show that no one liked much in the first place.

For me:

+ Unless there's some legitimate reason (that has to be expressed to me personally) every movie must show its title before the film/during the first 20 minutes. I'm sick of how Avatar and The Dark Knight and a lot of other movies these days arbitrarily decide not to show the title. It's okay if you're Paranormal Activity and are trying to build an illusion that this is "found" footage, but for a normal movie, show your damn title.

+ In order to remake a movie, you have to express to me personally the artistic reason you're doing so. So if you're John Carpenter and say "The original Thing had a good premise but a terrible execution and I can do better" I'll pat you on the back and send you on your way. But if you're Gus Van Sant and want to make a shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, I kick you in the balls and prevent you from getting financing.

+ Unless you come up with a compelling, artistic reason for doing so, no movies can be told achronologically just because the director finds it arty and cool. I'm looking at you, Innaritu! Shit like 21 Grams has to stop. Movies should be edited in a way that makes sense artistically, not as if a three-year old kid shook puzzle pieces to the floor. Additionally, none of that "starting in the present for 1 minute and then flashing back" shit that's so common for movies with artistic pretensions. Unless there's an actual reason (which there often is, mind you) then keep it chronological.

What do you guys have?

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Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:32 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
I most certainly would never be King of the move world. I would act like some of the great movie pioneers and take risks, having the desire achieve high quality before greed and going the easy or trendy route (nah, not selling myself, I know this is the very point of this thread: cut the BS and produce quality!)

Of course some of it has been discussed before, anyway here it is:

1st: please stop the trendy color grading/timing. This is nothing but people using Final Cut Pro software to play around. Let's get on with that nice silky film look, there are plenty of styles to chose from- Christopher Nolan did great in "Inception": 2D, old fashioned "can't beat the real deal" film. Just wonderful!

2nd: minimize the use of CGI FX, and if you use it, make sure it looks convincing! A battle field where the name of most extras is obviously Mr. Copy/Paste? Next time I see that, I'll fire the person responsible!

3nd: work some more on the 3D process please, it still needs tweaking, or even back to the drawing board, I don't care - just: as long as I don't see anyone coming up with clear, non eye-straining 3D, keep shooting in 2D!

4th stop being afraid of video games and short attention spans!!!! Keep the time span between cuts in action scenes at least a half second! Yes, times have changed and the pacing is getting faster - but not to the point that a movie looks as it f it is constantly shown on a video tape that's fast forwarded.

5th: avoid clutter. Even when you depict space battles! Filling the screen with as much stuff as possible is not good filmmaking.

6th: please get me some more acting talent. There MUST be young people who are easy on the eye AND can act. In fact there are. Look harder to find some more and get rid of the untalented babes and hunks!

All for now.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:35 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
1.)I would want every movie to take time out to give a nice, solid base for their characters before delving into the story.

2.) Focus on the stroy and give the audience an idea of your world and how the characters interact with it and others.

3.) If you're going to make an action film, focus the camera steadliy on the action. The audience should be able to see the action.

4.) A film should try to follow through with a real, plausible ending. If it's to make us think, then the context setting up the ending should be logical and realistic.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:53 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
corpen11 wrote:
1.)I would want every movie to take time out to give a nice, solid base for their characters before delving into the story.


Hmmmm I can't I agree with you here. I LOVE character development, but often there's an advantage to thrusting the viewer right into the movie. Look at Dark City or Run Lola Run: they plunge us right into the action. Saving Private Ryan doesn't give us character sketches before hurtling onto Omaha Beach. Even dramas like Juno delve into the story and don't suffer for it. I love characters, but movies don't need to start with them.

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Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:01 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
JamesKunz wrote:
corpen11 wrote:
1.)I would want every movie to take time out to give a nice, solid base for their characters before delving into the story.


Hmmmm I can't I agree with you here. I LOVE character development, but often there's an advantage to thrusting the viewer right into the movie. Look at Dark City or Run Lola Run: they plunge us right into the action. Saving Private Ryan doesn't give us character sketches before hurtling onto Omaha Beach. Even dramas like Juno delve into the story and don't suffer for it. I love characters, but movies don't need to start with them.


I don't mind if a movie jumps into the story, as long as character development occurs. I can't wait to see Vexer's thoughts on this.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:09 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
corpen11 wrote:
JamesKunz wrote:
corpen11 wrote:
1.)I would want every movie to take time out to give a nice, solid base for their characters before delving into the story.


Hmmmm I can't I agree with you here. I LOVE character development, but often there's an advantage to thrusting the viewer right into the movie. Look at Dark City or Run Lola Run: they plunge us right into the action. Saving Private Ryan doesn't give us character sketches before hurtling onto Omaha Beach. Even dramas like Juno delve into the story and don't suffer for it. I love characters, but movies don't need to start with them.


I don't mind if a movie jumps into the story, as long as character development occurs. I can't wait to see Vexer's thoughts on this.

I do appreciate character development when it occurs, but it's not something I need to enjoy a film, basically as long as a film does a good job keeping me entertained, then it's easy for me to forgive two or one-dimensional characters. As for what I would do if I was king or whatever, i'd also decrease the use of shaky-cam, I would completely forbid or at least heavily restrict remakes of foreign-horror films, but most of all I would mandate that filmmakers stop relying on godawful Shyamalan-esque twist endings.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:40 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
More:

Expository dialog:
I hate it when people explain to each other what they do and why they do it or any kind of information - to people who already know. There should alwayas be a more elegant way to fill the audience in on what's going on.

Narrators:
Please use those only with style (as, say, in Goodfellas) or only as a last resource. And please give Morgan Freeman a break, at least for a while!

Character background:
Please avoid cliches. An evil person is what he/she is because of childhood abuse? No, not again! I prefer subtleties and nuances - and an arc - more than establishing a background (unless it's part of the story as opposed to psychology cliches).


Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:15 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Threeperf35 wrote:
Expository dialog:
I hate it when people explain to each other what they do and why they do it or any kind of information - to people who already know. There should alwayas be a more elegant way to fill the audience in on what's going on.


I am so in agreement on this one. Many of my favorite movies -- Junebug jumps to mind -- work because people don't explain stuff about their past/relational history to people that shouldn't need it explained to them. Nothing bugs me more than this and that's exactly what I was going to post when I saw the thread title.

Additionally, I'd like to outlaw "edgy" endings that are not earned. When a writer writes himself into a corner, he should either abandon ship or fix it, not throw in something to kill everyone off or end things in a fast way that doesn't really answer anything. Also, the "it was all a dream" ending must be permanently banned.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt can never comment on political or social issues anymore. You're just embarrassing yourself at this point.

Entertainment Weekly is banned from making any sort of "Best Of" list.

Star and number ratings for movie reviews are outlawed.

Julia Roberts has to change her name to Corn on the Cob Hamilton until she makes another worthwhile movie.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:48 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Shade wrote:
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt can never comment on political or social issues anymore. You're just embarrassing yourself at this point.

Entertainment Weekly is banned from making any sort of "Best Of" list.

Star and number ratings for movie reviews are outlawed.

Julia Roberts has to change her name to Corn on the Cob Hamilton until she makes another worthwhile movie.


Star ratings are really rather useful. I understand they're reductive at times, but it's very nice when I'm reading what you guys think about movies to have your comments encapsulated in a rating.

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Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:15 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
JamesKunz wrote:
Star ratings are really rather useful. I understand they're reductive at times, but it's very nice when I'm reading what you guys think about movies to have your comments encapsulated in a rating.


Mmmkay. I'll accept star ratings, but not 1-10 ratings. Here's why: on a 4-star scale, a 2.5 is "above average," but is not a recommendation. The standards need to be that way; a movie needs to earn the right to be seen, it shouldn't be seen simply because it isn't terrible. The problem I have with the 1-10 scale is that the vast majority of people that use that system never drop below a 6 unless something is unspeakably bad.

I agree that there's value in ratings in certain scenarios; as you said, since we know each other here it's a fine wrap-up way to encompass your thoughts (and for the most part, people around here won't skip everything you say except your rating). I guess I really don't have a problem with them as much as I don't think they offer much on their own. It's an unsubstantiated opinion if not accompanied by something worthwhile.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:23 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Shade wrote:
Threeperf35 wrote:
Expository dialog:
I hate it when people explain to each other what they do and why they do it or any kind of information - to people who already know. There should alwayas be a more elegant way to fill the audience in on what's going on.


I am so in agreement on this one. Many of my favorite movies -- Junebug jumps to mind -- work because people don't explain stuff about their past/relational history to people that shouldn't need it explained to them. Nothing bugs me more than this and that's exactly what I was going to post when I saw the thread title.

Additionally, I'd like to outlaw "edgy" endings that are not earned. When a writer writes himself into a corner, he should either abandon ship or fix it, not throw in something to kill everyone off or end things in a fast way that doesn't really answer anything. Also, the "it was all a dream" ending must be permanently banned.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt can never comment on political or social issues anymore. You're just embarrassing yourself at this point.

Entertainment Weekly is banned from making any sort of "Best Of" list.

Star and number ratings for movie reviews are outlawed.

Julia Roberts has to change her name to Corn on the Cob Hamilton until she makes another worthwhile movie.



Love that... :lol:


Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:41 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Only one I can think of now: Unless you have a damn good reason too, put that goddamn camera on a tripod.


Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:02 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
No 3-D films unless you film it the "right" way, like James Cameron did with Avatar, not the cheap 2-D to 3-D transformation a la Clash Of The Titans or The Last Airbender.


Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:07 am
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Cast James Spader in more movies.

Threeperf35 wrote:
1st: please stop the trendy color grading/timing. This is nothing but people using Final Cut Pro software to play around. Let's get on with that nice silky film look, there are plenty of styles to chose from- Christopher Nolan did great in "Inception": 2D, old fashioned "can't beat the real deal" film. Just wonderful!


x 1 billion. Mostly because I saw the topic and thought I'd write about this and mention Nolan! Great mind, Threeperf, great minds.

But seriously who is it that virtually every major release is tinted in orange and blue? Do people think this looks good?

I know Nolan gets some shit, but I love that he:

Shoots on film
Doesn't do a bunch of digital post-processing
Captures virtually all audio while shooting rather than have actors tweak the dialogue in a studio
Uses as little CG as possible

I wish others would follow suit.


Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:20 am
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
ed_metal_head wrote:
Cast James Spader in more movies.

Threeperf35 wrote:
1st: please stop the trendy color grading/timing. This is nothing but people using Final Cut Pro software to play around. Let's get on with that nice silky film look, there are plenty of styles to chose from- Christopher Nolan did great in "Inception": 2D, old fashioned "can't beat the real deal" film. Just wonderful!


x 1 billion. Mostly because I saw the topic and thought I'd write about this and mention Nolan! Great mind, Threeperf, great minds.

But seriously who is it that virtually every major release is tinted in orange and blue? Do people think this looks good?

I know Nolan gets some shit, but I love that he:

Shoots on film
Doesn't do a bunch of digital post-processing
Captures virtually all audio while shooting rather than have actors tweak the dialogue in a studio
Uses as little CG as possible

I wish others would follow suit.


Well thanks a bunch. I'd like to add (I'm sure you follow the exact same train of thoughts) that I am NOT against - or afraid of - progress. I am not saying that only the "old fashioned way" is good filmmaking. I'm not saying that movies should all be edited on movieolas - of course scanning and editing digitally is the way to go. BUT I am against applying tew technologies just because they are new.
Digital cameras still don't provide that "film look" under all lighting conditions. Real film does. I'd predict that most likely the same will happen as happened with audio recently: eventually it will go all digital (it is inevitable - just not yet please! ) with cameras providing super hi-res, but cold, stark, raw and glassy looking images; choice of lenses, in-camera motion resolution (frame rate, motion blur etc.) and lighting will "fix" some of it - and to get rid of that stark, glassy video look, there will be powerful software tools (same as in audio where we can emulate the artifacts of analog circuits, vintage amplifiers and reel-to-reel tape).
...just my 2c.


Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:44 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Oh yeah, and no usage of the song Hallelujah. EVER.

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Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:54 pm
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Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
JamesKunz wrote:
Oh yeah, and no usage of the song Hallelujah. EVER.

Yeah, same goes for Snap-I've Got The Pwoer, seriously, how many films has that song been in?


Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:02 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
Vexer wrote:
JamesKunz wrote:
Oh yeah, and no usage of the song Hallelujah. EVER.

Yeah, same goes for Snap-I've Got The Pwoer, seriously, how many films has that song been in?


Not enough?



And dammit now I guess it's my turn:

-Cuts must be more than one second long!
-More long shots!
-No Renny Harlin being alive to make crappy movies!


Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:06 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
I know this wasn't specifically what was asked, but I'd put a stop to "Hollywood Accounting". The very idea that Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter weren't profitable boggles the mind. The people responsible for these claims should spend time in jail.


Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:03 pm
Post Re: Rules You Would Make If You Were King of the Movie World
JamesKunz wrote:
Oh yeah, and no usage of the song Hallelujah. EVER.


Yeah, its an amazing song but its usuage is cliched and done. Just done.

Also, the use of the song that starts around 15 seconds in the tv spot for Lottery Ticket. That song would never be used to advertise a movie aimed at a black demographic again if I was in control.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEreWD-FXcc


Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:34 pm
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