Re: Poll #35: Best Commando One-Liner
To Patrick: I promise to get this thread back on point by the end of my post. My word, sir. My word.
To ram1312 and all trying to follow along: Kids are expensive! Wow! I mean: WOW! And all the things that I figured would get done, easily, after the kid was born? No! No time! When I tell you I had the whole thing mapped out totally wrong I'm telling you I had the WHOLE THING
mapped out totally wrong. "Oh, we'll find a babysitter and go see Avatar
!" The amount of planning required for that could balance this nation's budget in the same amount of time. And did I mention expensive?! I still owe, like, fucking millions in student loans. And, as if you all hadn't figured it out by now, living as pinko liberals in America is even more expensive. Cloth diapers, people. After a while you want to tell momma nature to go screw herself so you can strap some dimestore Pampers knock-offs to the kid and have a cup of Fair Trade tea. No, I'm not kidding about the tea.
But then the kid says the word "no" when you try to take her to bed and it's all hilarious and heart-warming as if you're the only person to have experienced it in the history of tens of billions of people. Tens of billions.
But, yeah, we're going to "try" pretty soon. To which I say: sorry, static pictures of Salma Hayek on the internet... I've got work to do.
This thread was turned x-rated by me alone. That's some responsibility.
Anyway, as soon as we're done "trying" I'm going to skip over to the local video store and rent Commando
to see just how hilarious the one-liners are.
See? Told you I'd get it back on topic, Patrick.