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August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires" 
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Post August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
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Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:52 pm
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Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I couldn't agree more. A lot of these "new-school" vampire movies work better if you just pretend the characters aren't vampires but something entirely different. But that's pretty hard to do and really not worth the effort.

I actually liked the main villain in Twilight (the blonde guy). He was a lot closer to an old-school vampire than Edward, but he had too little screen time and in the end felt more like an afterthought than a true villain.


Last edited by KRoss on Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:11 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
That was a fun read.

But I would have thought that Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows deserved a mention somewhere. He predates Buffy and Anne Rice, and for better or worse, he influenced the wimpafication of vampires.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:16 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I don't like either the old or new vampires much really, vampire films have always been my least favorite horror sub-genre, mostly cause they're just so dman boring most of the time, I absolutely hated the massively overpraised Near Dark for alot of reasons, but mainly cause it was such a massive sturggle just to staw awake through the whole damn thing! And all this Twilight shit makes me sick to my stomach, even my sister, who falls squarely into Twilight's target audience wouldn't touch that series witch a ten-foot pole. I sincerely hope that Meyer never writes another Twilight book for the rest of her life, but I know damn well that's about as likely to happen as finding diamonds buried n my backyard.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:29 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
"I never drink… blood"

Wine.

The old-school vampire mythos is pretty much played out; you won't see an "old fashioned" vamp flick because it's virtually impossible to play it straight like that anymore and enthrall your audience in the process. So we get sexy bloodsuckers, or we get nothing.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:01 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I can't remember the last ReelThoughts that was this much of a rant. The last MPAA ReelThoughts was kind of a mini-rant but not on the level of this. Quite a fun read. I have a soft spot for True Blood and all its cheese and nudity, but I agree that Vampires have been beaten to death as of late, and its going to get worse before it gets better. Its similar to the 70s boom, although it seems to embrace the ideas of the male emotional revolution at the cost of traditional Vampire rules and regulations. I thought Twilight had an interesting idea, although the execution was/is terrible.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:25 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I don't have a problem with exploring the psyche of vampires in a more in-depth manner but the hype "Twilight" is getting makes me want to vomit. I think "Let The Right One In" is more the kind of story I'd be into.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:01 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Assuming there are at least a few basic requirements for a character to be considered a vampire, do Meyer's characters even count?

I'm not a fan of vampires myself, mainly because the classic iconography was oversaturated with parody by the time my generation rolled around. The whole "I vant to suck your blahd!" thing. I have a hard time taking them seriously, which really takes the teeth out of the suspenseful scenes. And just forget about new-school vampires. There's nothing scary about Brad Pitt pouting like Jon Bon Jovi for two hours.

I did do a capsule review of Herzog's Nosferatu.

Quote:
Werner Herzog remakes the first vampire movie by mashing up the striking images and theatrical acting of the original with the contemporary narrative style. To say that one often undermines the dramatic potency of the other is an understatement. At least Dracula appears more tragic and sympathetic here than in perhaps ever before or since. FAVORABLE FACTOR: Although Herzog holds onto them past their expiration date, there are some striking images that deserve to be associated with the vampire mythology forever, such as the endless caskets filing into the square of plague-stricken Wismar. But—and many of the most well-known filmmakers in the genre, take note—striking images alone don’t make a great movie.


I did enjoy Shadow of the Vampire, more for its cleverness than its scariness. Maybe I just lack the necessary amount of mortal anxiety to buy into this particular brand of the undead.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:14 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Maybe i'm trying too hard to reconcile my sickening love for Buffy and Angel, but I wonder what it is about those shows that is acceptable to me versus Twilight and True Blood. I came to the conclusion that it's not the horror or the vampires themselves (after all Buffy pretty much drops the Vampire stuff after a couple years). The monsters were never the point in Buffy. It was the writing, the characters, the drama, and the humor. It was a smart as hell show. Twilight obviously has none of that and True Blood while at times attempting to delve into racism, homophobia, and fundamentalism is pretty much pure cheese. Fun cheese at that. So I've come to realize that I don't I really care how if the vampires are demons, or evil, or misunderstood. All that matters is the stuff around that. One can say that about anything though...


Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:29 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Eh, I don't really have a problem with "humanizing" vampires. Really, they needed somewhere to go, right? I mean, Dracula never got old or boring, JB? Have you seen Van Helsing lately? My two favorite vampire films are Shadow of the Vampire and Vampire's Kiss because, yeah, we've endured so many stale iterations of the same old stories over the years that maybe the only way for me to enjoy a bloodsucker movie at this point is if it goes way out on a limb to distort genre conventions or if it's just really funny. Those two flicks also each have a lead performance that belongs in the all-time, out-there, whacked-out performance hall of fame, which helps

Image
Alva... Alva... Alva! AL-VA! There you are!


Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:41 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I think that everything is a matter of talent. If the people involved have the necessary artistic chops, then they can make a good, scary movie even using Abigail Breslin as a vampire.

I'm an X-Files fan and I remember than when they tried to make a "serious" episode about vampires ("3") with sex and all that stuff, it was a flop.
But when they made a comedic vampire episode a few years later ("Bad Blood"), it was one of their best of all times.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:35 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
A huge influence on modern day vampires, which was influenced by Rice, among others, is White Wolf's Vampires: The Masquerade role playing game. There was actually a TV series based on it that didn't last a full season. But in this role playing game, the Vampires have various clans and are highly political.

I rarely enjoy a vampire movie, yet I want to see them. I enjoy the concept of vampires, but so few seem to do it in a worthwhile way. Either go the Anne Rice way, and flesh them out fully as essentially 'people' who are struggling to survive in a world where they can't travel in the day, need to feed, and need to remain largely unnoticed, or have them be a horrorfic entity.

But the horror aspect of vampires might just be impossible. We will humanize them in our minds, because we have seen them humanized. Further, a 'I suck your blood' vampires aren't very different from a Michael Meyers, or any other type of monster really. I enjoyed 30 Days of Night, but too often it relied on cliche slasher film actions.

From Dusk Till Dawn, and all the other campy vampire movies can be fun, but only reduce the 'horrific'ness of vampires.

I still need to see some of the older allegedly great vampire films, including Herzog's, Romeros, and Kathryn Bigelow's.

p.s. Nightwatch & Daywatch were good movies based on vampire-esque characters.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:58 am
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Quote:
If the erosion of vampires as monsters began with Rice, it accelerated in the 1990s when a little movie called Buffy the Vampire Slayer was converted to a T.V. series by Joss Whedon. In Whedon's world, vampires were more three-dimensional than anything previously seen. Whedon pilfered freely from Rice, old-school vampires, and the '70s comic book The Tomb of Dracula, and added plenty of his own ideas and material. For the better part of the '90s, his version of the vampire was seen as the definitive one.


I am having a hell of a time trying to figure out if this means you liked Buffy or didn't.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:27 pm
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
There was an interesting little indie flick with Lili Taylor from 1995 called "The Addiction".

I think James might find it to his liking.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:58 pm
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Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
John DiFool wrote:
"I never drink… blood"

Wine.


Thanks for catching that.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:23 pm
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Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
BANKA wrote:
I can't remember the last ReelThoughts that was this much of a rant. The last MPAA ReelThoughts was kind of a mini-rant but not on the level of this. Quite a fun read.


A lot of this was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. The general thesis represents my feelings but the manner in which I chose to present it was intentionally over-the-top. For whatever reason, this took a LONG time to write. Longer than any ReelThoughts I have written in months. Not sure why.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:25 pm
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Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
You enjoy Herzog's 'Nosferatu' the most of all vampire films, but your Top 100 doesn't seem to reflect this. Is this a technicality associated with the original 'Nosferatu' (that you mention in the first paragraph), or is the 1979 'Nosferatu' more beloved by you than the 1922 version, therefore utterly confusing me?


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:34 pm
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Vexer wrote:
I don't like either the old or new vampires much really, vampire films have always been my least favorite horror sub-genre, mostly cause they're just so dman boring most of the time, I absolutely hated the massively overpraised Near Dark for alot of reasons, but mainly cause it was such a massive sturggle just to staw awake through the whole damn thing! And all this Twilight shit makes me sick to my stomach, even my sister, who falls squarely into Twilight's target audience wouldn't touch that series witch a ten-foot pole. I sincerely hope that Meyer never writes another Twilight book for the rest of her life, but I know damn well that's about as likely to happen as finding diamonds buried n my backyard.


Remember that latest Twilight Meyers was writing that got leaked and she stopped working on it cause she was too sad? Yeah, I think that's the last we've seen of the Twilight books until Meyers stops being a bitch and writes that book.


Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:48 pm
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
I very much like the way that Vamipre lore has gone nowadays, but there is somewhere it could go that doesnt have to imply that Vampires are a neatly shaved patch away from being female.

A good trilogy of books is the Witch Hunter trilogy by CL Werner, from the Warhammer Black Library. V awsome and very dark with plenty of gore!


Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:34 pm
Post Re: August 30, 2009: "I Hate Vampires"
Not that it matters, but "Forever Knight" predates Buffy's show by several years. IMDB lists it as starting in 1989. Geraint Wyn Davies played Nick Knight, a detective in Toronto whose whole ambition was to hide his vampirism and somehow redeem himself and regain mortality. I remember watching it, although I don't think I saw every episode so I have no idea if he ever succeeded. I've seen (and own) all of Buffy and Angel, though.

I wouldn't mind seeing vamps get their teeth back, though. There should be something terrifying about that threat in the dark, that silent killer out for blood. There should be something disturbing about women (and men) really wanting to have sex with these things. Eww. I suppose the next big show will be a live action Anita Blake, although I don't know what channel they'd dare put it on...


Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:44 pm
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