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Dating and Relationships 
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Gwaihir wrote:
Move to another city, Ken. There are 24-hour bars in New Orleans, I'm pretty sure last call in New York is 3am, maybe in Philly too (but don't quote me on the latter).

Hm.

NYC is tempting. They have the Hayden Planetarium, and Joe's Pizza.

But hell, I like it here.

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Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:55 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
PeachyPete wrote:
Mark III wrote:
this one fellow wrote:
Step 1: Download Tinder.

Step 2: Profit.


Yeah, more or less. It's just as arbitrary as any other app/site. Though if you're just looking to get your prick wet, any bar on earth at 3am is pretty much as effective. As is getting a retail job and just screwing your way through the ranks. Not even retail, shit. All that trouble: gotta buy the phone, gotta get a data plan, gotta download the app... has getting a strange rash gotten so difficult that we now need to use the latest technologies?

I feel bad for today's supposedly vag-hungry youth, really. They need the shoulders of giants, nothing less than software created by the better minds of generations past, in order to get the loft required to seal the deal. What does this say about their ability to interact with one another, form a bond long-lasting enough to work down the undergarments and boldly go where so many have boldly emptied their DNA? 30 billion people did it without the need to have a durable wi-fi connection but, with these kids today, you more or less render them sterile if Location Access is turned "Off".

In a way, this bodes well for those of you who aren't shackled to desperate tactics like 'Tinder', those of you who get a moment to negotiate the playing field without relying on the aid of some born-to-die startup in a dark corner of an Indiana University flophouse: the technology will eventually become passe, drying the penises of those who stood in your way merely by having software that was painfully, balls-itchingly up to date.

So, fuck it. Keep your damned Tinder: you're basically guaranteeing that the biggest maladroits of them all will be ejecting 23 chromosomes into the girl you thought was all into you. Guess what: she's fucking Bladerunner0846 now.

And life goes on. The lesson I was trying to impart (and I think I did a fantastic job) is: if online dating works for you, that's great. We all want lasting, meaningful relationships. And why? Is it a basic human need like oxygen, water and purple dish towels? Maybe. But, maybe, it's because we want to be able to write on a movie forum about any topic we like so we may read our posts to our children. I know I do that.

But if it's just some vagina you're looking to introduce your penis to, may you fare well. Because you'll need all the luck you can get. And eventually, when you're alone and lonely and Location Access is "Off", you'll write of your exploits on a movie forum where nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will understand why you're doing what you're doing on a forum of people who are far more skeptical of boasting about stuff that doesn't really have any importance.

So remember: every time you think "my phone just got me laid", you should also think "I'm going to be overweight and masturbating in NO TIME". Hell, it may have already happened.

My work here is done.

Also: that Freakonomics podcast is really great and shit so listen to it on your mobile phones while Location Access is turned to "Learn".

And: I heart PlentyofFish works but I'm pretty sure I heard it on that podcast.


Welp, that was amazing. A sincere thanks for that.


Yeah. I had plans for a similar (and undoubtedly less articulate) response, but you're really (ahem) nailed it. Carry on.


Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:27 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Mark III wrote:
this one fellow wrote:
Step 1: Download Tinder.

Step 2: Profit.


Yeah, more or less. It's just as arbitrary as any other app/site. Though if you're just looking to get your prick wet, any bar on earth at 3am is pretty much as effective. As is getting a retail job and just screwing your way through the ranks. Not even retail, shit. All that trouble: gotta buy the phone, gotta get a data plan, gotta download the app... has getting a strange rash gotten so difficult that we now need to use the latest technologies?

I feel bad for today's supposedly vag-hungry youth, really. They need the shoulders of giants, nothing less than software created by the better minds of generations past, in order to get the loft required to seal the deal. What does this say about their ability to interact with one another, form a bond long-lasting enough to work down the undergarments and boldly go where so many have boldly emptied their DNA? 30 billion people did it without the need to have a durable wi-fi connection but, with these kids today, you more or less render them sterile if Location Access is turned "Off".

In a way, this bodes well for those of you who aren't shackled to desperate tactics like 'Tinder', those of you who get a moment to negotiate the playing field without relying on the aid of some born-to-die startup in a dark corner of an Indiana University flophouse: the technology will eventually become passe, drying the penises of those who stood in your way merely by having software that was painfully, balls-itchingly up to date.

So, fuck it. Keep your damned Tinder: you're basically guaranteeing that the biggest maladroits of them all will be ejecting 23 chromosomes into the girl you thought was all into you. Guess what: she's fucking Bladerunner0846 now.

And life goes on. The lesson I was trying to impart (and I think I did a fantastic job) is: if online dating works for you, that's great. We all want lasting, meaningful relationships. And why? Is it a basic human need like oxygen, water and purple dish towels? Maybe. But, maybe, it's because we want to be able to write on a movie forum about any topic we like so we may read our posts to our children. I know I do that.

But if it's just some vagina you're looking to introduce your penis to, may you fare well. Because you'll need all the luck you can get. And eventually, when you're alone and lonely and Location Access is "Off", you'll write of your exploits on a movie forum where nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will understand why you're doing what you're doing on a forum of people who are far more skeptical of boasting about stuff that doesn't really have any importance.

So remember: every time you think "my phone just got me laid", you should also think "I'm going to be overweight and masturbating in NO TIME". Hell, it may have already happened.

Suck my dick....phaggot. what the hell did you just post? Seems like sandscrit to me.... Tinder or not....babes or not....suck a big dick.....


Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:16 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
roastbeef_ajus wrote:
Suck my dick....phaggot. what the hell did you just post? Seems like sandscrit to me.... Tinder or not....babes or not....suck a big dick.....


Crazy! My seventh-grade English teacher wrote that same thing, word for word, on my paper about The Outsiders.
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This forum isn't big enough for two goofy jackasses who waste the time of others. I was here first and I do it better than you, kid.

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Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:02 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
I'll try to do better than "suck my dick phaggot...."

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
Yeah, more or less. It's just as arbitrary as any other app/site. Though if you're just looking to get your prick wet, any bar on earth at 3am is pretty much as effective


Truth. But you are being sexist though. Why do you assume girls aren't trying to wet my prick?

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
As is getting a retail job and just screwing your way through the ranks. Not even retail, shit.

What's wrong with a retail job? Now you are just insulting the people that make my life easier when I go in to buy that new 70". Nothing about having a job is bad, whether you are a CEO or fry chicken nuggets.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
All that trouble: gotta buy the phone, gotta get a data plan, gotta download the app... has getting a strange rash gotten so difficult that we now need to use the latest technologies?


Well, what's wrong with having instant access to information? And why do you assume I'm going to get a strange rash? Clean girls don't like having sex? Quit being sexist dude.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
I feel bad for today's supposedly vag-hungry youth, really. They need the shoulders of giants, nothing less than software created by the better minds of generations past, in order to get the loft required to seal the deal.


Girls can't be cock hungry? Don't be pretentious...it's those better minds creating Facebook and twitter and instagram and tinder and vine and anything else that you would never understand how to do (or else you would have done it).

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
What does this say about their ability to interact with one another, form a bond long-lasting enough to work down the undergarments and boldly go where so many have boldly emptied their DNA? 30 billion people did it without the need to have a durable wi-fi connection but, with these kids today, you more or less render them sterile if Location Access is turned "Off".


Whether I meet a girl at a bar or on an app, I still have to charm her pants off. This isn't HER yet. First introductions don't matter, the end result does. And good thing if I don't have a wi-fi connection, I still have LTE, and then 3g, and then edge, and if that goes down, well the world probably just ended, and I have bigger things to worry about.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
In a way, this bodes well for those of you who aren't shackled to desperate tactics like 'Tinder', those of you who get a moment to negotiate the playing field without relying on the aid of some born-to-die startup in a dark corner of an Indiana University flophouse: the technology will eventually become passe, drying the penises of those who stood in your way merely by having software that was painfully, balls-itchingly up to date.


It's just increasing odds dude, a way to meet new people. Again, I feel like you are being sexist...you know this app wouldn't work without both sexes using it right? I negotiate the playing field at the bar every night...this app allows me to negotiate the playing field in a 100 mile radius every night as well. Why is it born to die? The people who started it will have more money than you ever dreamed of, inventing something you are jealous of. I could only wish I thought of something as clever.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
So, fuck it. Keep your damned Tinder: you're basically guaranteeing that the biggest maladroits of them all will be ejecting 23 chromosomes into the girl you thought was all into you. Guess what: she's fucking Bladerunner0846 now.


I will. She's into me for the night she's in my bed...or not, but it doesn't matter because she's in my bed. Do you mean she's a replicant? As long as she feels real, fine.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
And life goes on. The lesson I was trying to impart (and I think I did a fantastic job) is: if online dating works for you, that's great. We all want lasting, meaningful relationships. And why? Is it a basic human need like oxygen, water and purple dish towels? Maybe. But, maybe, it's because we want to be able to write on a movie forum about any topic we like so we may read our posts to our children. I know I do that.


The only lesson you imparted is that you don't make any sense. You did a fantastic job of not saying anything. I feel sorry for your kids.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
But if it's just some vagina you're looking to introduce your penis to, may you fare well. Because you'll need all the luck you can get. And eventually, when you're alone and lonely and Location Access is "Off", you'll write of your exploits on a movie forum where nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will understand why you're doing what you're doing on a forum of people who are far more skeptical of boasting about stuff that doesn't really have any importance.


Why would location access be off? Either the world has ended, or I can't afford my bill anymore...both of which I don't see happening in the near future...at least until my good looks have run off in which case I won't care anymore. And I thing you just wrote more on this movie forum than I ever have.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
So remember: every time you think "my phone just got me laid", you should also think "I'm going to be overweight and masturbating in NO TIME". Hell, it may have already happened.


Why would I think a $200 piece of hardware got me laid? I got me laid, by whatever means that I used to get me laid. Whether I met the girl at a bar, class, job, kickball tournament, pumpkin patch, tinder, or anything else. I've never been overweight, and I'm not about to start anytime soon...and I jerk it on a weekly basis. I don't want prostate cancer, and it feels good.

Mark III wrote:
This forum isn't big enough for two goofy jackasses who waste the time of others. I was here first and I do it better than you, kid.


It does seem you waste time better than I do. I, however, can afford to waste all the time in the world. It seems you have kids, though...so quite wasting time and maybe take them to a basketball game, or movie, or something.


Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:49 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Uh huh. If this is some kind of forum performance, a parody of something, I applaud your commitment. If not, that's unfortunate for more people but I'm sure it'll pass just as soon as it came on. Either way, it looks like most of the seasoned people here ignore your stuff and that's a lot more sane than taking the bait. Good luck with your new persona, of course.

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Sat Feb 08, 2014 2:38 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
What new persona?


Sat Feb 08, 2014 2:45 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
roastbeef_ajus wrote:
Why do you assume girls aren't trying to wet my prick?


Especially when you tell them how

[Reveal] Spoiler:
BAUCE


you are.

Beef, I'm not saying you're a 14 year-old who's never touched a willing woman. I'm saying that if you were, no single word of your posts would be different.

As Mixmaster Mark said, depending on your intentions, your persona here is either incredibly successful or incredibly not.


Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:16 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Ken wrote:
Mark III wrote:
Though if you're just looking to get your prick wet, any bar on earth at 3am is pretty much as effective.

Where are these bars that are open until 3am?


England

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Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:37 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
roastbeef_ajus wrote:
I'll try to do better than "suck my dick phaggot...."

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
Yeah, more or less. It's just as arbitrary as any other app/site. Though if you're just looking to get your prick wet, any bar on earth at 3am is pretty much as effective


Truth. But you are being sexist though. Why do you assume girls aren't trying to wet my prick?

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
As is getting a retail job and just screwing your way through the ranks. Not even retail, shit.

What's wrong with a retail job? Now you are just insulting the people that make my life easier when I go in to buy that new 70". Nothing about having a job is bad, whether you are a CEO or fry chicken nuggets.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
All that trouble: gotta buy the phone, gotta get a data plan, gotta download the app... has getting a strange rash gotten so difficult that we now need to use the latest technologies?


Well, what's wrong with having instant access to information? And why do you assume I'm going to get a strange rash? Clean girls don't like having sex? Quit being sexist dude.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
I feel bad for today's supposedly vag-hungry youth, really. They need the shoulders of giants, nothing less than software created by the better minds of generations past, in order to get the loft required to seal the deal.


Girls can't be cock hungry? Don't be pretentious...it's those better minds creating Facebook and twitter and instagram and tinder and vine and anything else that you would never understand how to do (or else you would have done it).

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
What does this say about their ability to interact with one another, form a bond long-lasting enough to work down the undergarments and boldly go where so many have boldly emptied their DNA? 30 billion people did it without the need to have a durable wi-fi connection but, with these kids today, you more or less render them sterile if Location Access is turned "Off".


Whether I meet a girl at a bar or on an app, I still have to charm her pants off. This isn't HER yet. First introductions don't matter, the end result does. And good thing if I don't have a wi-fi connection, I still have LTE, and then 3g, and then edge, and if that goes down, well the world probably just ended, and I have bigger things to worry about.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
In a way, this bodes well for those of you who aren't shackled to desperate tactics like 'Tinder', those of you who get a moment to negotiate the playing field without relying on the aid of some born-to-die startup in a dark corner of an Indiana University flophouse: the technology will eventually become passe, drying the penises of those who stood in your way merely by having software that was painfully, balls-itchingly up to date.


It's just increasing odds dude, a way to meet new people. Again, I feel like you are being sexist...you know this app wouldn't work without both sexes using it right? I negotiate the playing field at the bar every night...this app allows me to negotiate the playing field in a 100 mile radius every night as well. Why is it born to die? The people who started it will have more money than you ever dreamed of, inventing something you are jealous of. I could only wish I thought of something as clever.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
So, fuck it. Keep your damned Tinder: you're basically guaranteeing that the biggest maladroits of them all will be ejecting 23 chromosomes into the girl you thought was all into you. Guess what: she's fucking Bladerunner0846 now.


I will. She's into me for the night she's in my bed...or not, but it doesn't matter because she's in my bed. Do you mean she's a replicant? As long as she feels real, fine.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
And life goes on. The lesson I was trying to impart (and I think I did a fantastic job) is: if online dating works for you, that's great. We all want lasting, meaningful relationships. And why? Is it a basic human need like oxygen, water and purple dish towels? Maybe. But, maybe, it's because we want to be able to write on a movie forum about any topic we like so we may read our posts to our children. I know I do that.


The only lesson you imparted is that you don't make any sense. You did a fantastic job of not saying anything. I feel sorry for your kids.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
But if it's just some vagina you're looking to introduce your penis to, may you fare well. Because you'll need all the luck you can get. And eventually, when you're alone and lonely and Location Access is "Off", you'll write of your exploits on a movie forum where nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will understand why you're doing what you're doing on a forum of people who are far more skeptical of boasting about stuff that doesn't really have any importance.


Why would location access be off? Either the world has ended, or I can't afford my bill anymore...both of which I don't see happening in the near future...at least until my good looks have run off in which case I won't care anymore. And I thing you just wrote more on this movie forum than I ever have.

roastbeef_ajus wrote:
So remember: every time you think "my phone just got me laid", you should also think "I'm going to be overweight and masturbating in NO TIME". Hell, it may have already happened.


Why would I think a $200 piece of hardware got me laid? I got me laid, by whatever means that I used to get me laid. Whether I met the girl at a bar, class, job, kickball tournament, pumpkin patch, tinder, or anything else. I've never been overweight, and I'm not about to start anytime soon...and I jerk it on a weekly basis. I don't want prostate cancer, and it feels good.

Mark III wrote:
This forum isn't big enough for two goofy jackasses who waste the time of others. I was here first and I do it better than you, kid.


It does seem you waste time better than I do. I, however, can afford to waste all the time in the world. It seems you have kids, though...so quite wasting time and maybe take them to a basketball game, or movie, or something.


Self-parody?

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Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:47 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
In general, I really don't think it's that big a deal if a single guy just enjoys sex without strings and has no desire to settle down and start a family. The latter isn't for everyone, and it doesn't have to be. Sure, it might lead to being forever alone, but some people are okay with that. There's more than enough people having kids as it is, anyway. The human race will get along just fine if people like me, Roast, and a few others decide not to take part in it.

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Sun Feb 09, 2014 12:58 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
KWRoss wrote:
In general, I really don't think it's that big a deal if a single guy just enjoys sex without strings and has no desire to settle down and start a family. The latter isn't for everyone, and it doesn't have to be. Sure, it might lead to being forever alone, but some people are okay with that. There's more than enough people having kids as it is, anyway. The human race will get along just fine if people like me, Roast, and a few others decide not to take part in it.



Doing it = fine.

Talking about it persistently on here = sigh

But FWIW, Beef's choice to permanently defer pro-creation is an act of charity to the global gene pool

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Sun Feb 09, 2014 2:27 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
NotHughGrant wrote:
But FWIW, Beef's choice to permanently defer pro-creation is an act of charity to the global gene pool

Image

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Sun Feb 09, 2014 3:42 pm
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Ken wrote:
NotHughGrant wrote:
But FWIW, Beef's choice to permanently defer pro-creation is an act of charity to the global gene pool

Image


:lol:


Mon Feb 10, 2014 12:07 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Shade2 wrote:
As Mixmaster Mark said, depending on your intentions, your persona here is either incredibly successful or incredibly not.


So either way it's incredibly something. I'll take that.


Mon Feb 10, 2014 12:14 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
roastbeef_ajus wrote:
Shade2 wrote:
As Mixmaster Mark said, depending on your intentions, your persona here is either incredibly successful or incredibly not.


So either way it's incredibly something. I'll take that.


You might need to familiarize yourself with the meaning of that word, homey.


Mon Feb 10, 2014 2:12 am
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Post Re: Dating and Relationships
Ken wrote:
NotHughGrant wrote:
But FWIW, Beef's choice to permanently defer pro-creation is an act of charity to the global gene pool

Image



Here all week!

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Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:35 pm
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