Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 4:33 pm
This Rotten Week: Predicting the Weekend of March 1, 2013
A new month is upon us. What does this mean for the multiplex? Almost nothing. With the release of some worthwhile indies (Stoker, The Place Beyond the Pines), a few promising wide releases (Oz: The Great and Powerful, Dead Man Down), a bunch of other bottom-of-the-barrel fare (Phantom, 21 and Over), and a guilty pleasure or two (Olympus Has Fallen), this will certainly be an interesting, if not remarkable, month for movies.
Here is how I did last week:
1. Snitch - 54% (Predicted: 34%)
Off by 20% here. Ouch. Perhaps my animosity towards "The Rock" got in the way of my ability to make an accurate prediction. Either way, chock another point up for disappointing January and February releases featuring big-name action heroes. What's said here is the fact that Dwayne Johnson actually tries to act.
2. Dark Skies - 38% (Predicted: 12%)
The trailer for this film looked beyond awful, yet the movie itself was not panned by critics. I did not care for it in the slightest and am utterly perplexed as to how so many critics managed to like it this much. No matter how you slice it, this will ultimately end up being one of the most forgettable movies of 2013. By year's end, no one will remember having seen it or even heard of it. I'm still struggling to recall plot details right now. Alas, not my best week at the predicting game.
From now on, I will be updating the leaderboard specifically allocated for this purpose, rather than posting them both here and there.
This week is fairly packed. Here we go:
1. Jack the Giant Slayer - 51%
Snow White and the Huntsman ended up with a 48%. Mirror Mirror garnered a 50%. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters earned a 15%. (Still too high in my opinion.) Red Riding Hood finished with an 11%. The 21st-century fairy tale has always been a hard genre to predict, and Jack the Giant Slayer does not appear to be bringing anything new to the game. Bryan Singer is a comparatively accomplished director, yet I cannot see anything as silly as this ending up "Fresh". I will bump up the score just for him, as well as to accommodate the recent success of Nicholas Hoult, but that's just about it. Giant Slayer should close with a 51%.
2. 21 and Over - 18%
This looks like nothing more than a college version of Project X. Idiotic, unnecessary, and entirely inappropriate. Yes, I know that I am a curmudgeon. It won't have any of the high-school nostalgia that managed to impress some critics with Project X, which ironically, was released this exact same weekend last year. The writers of The Hangover have had limited success with other projects, such as The Change-Up (26%). This should do no better. 21 and Over will be lucky if it manages to wind up with an 18%.
3. The Last Exorcism Part II - 36%
The title of this film is the definition of an oxymoron. That being said, the first film in this series did well with critics (73%), while featuring one of the dumbest endings in the history of cinema. The trick probably won't work the second time around. Expect The Last Exorcism Part II to do well with younger audiences, while pining for mediocrity amongst pundits. 36% seems fair.
4. Phantom - 17%
One of the dumbest movies I have had the displeasure of seeing in quite some time. 2013 has been a dreadful year for cinema thus far, what with only a handful of titles, namely Side Effects, remaining fresh in my mind. Phantom is a joke. A movie featuring Ed Harris and David Duchovny playing Russians on a submarine is laughable enough. Add in the fact that no one even tried to turn in a Russian accent, and you have a critical flop on your hands. 17% seems far too generous, yet it is my final prediction.
5. Stoker - 67%
Finally, we get to a movie with intelligence, darkly humorous and eerily satisfying. I had the pleasure of seeing Stoker at Sundance in January, and I cannot wait to see it a second time. The Tomatometer has been tumbling over the course of the past few weeks, yet it should still end up "Fresh". It is at 68% right now, so I will wager a safe 67%.
Next week, we will be predicting the Tomatometer scores for Oz: The Great and Powerful and Dead Man Down. Until then, best of luck.