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Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes 
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
ram1312 wrote:
The movie is too hilariously quotable. I just had to include one of my favorites with you guys.

Trish goes something like, "I mean, my God, you ride a bicycle to work in a stockroom."
Andy goes, "And I ride a bike because I like to. Einstein rode a bike."
She responds, "He had a wife who he fucked, by the way."

I just love it too much.


That's a great line. I love the other bike line too. The one where he's arranging the first date and tells her he rides a bike. She says she loves motorcycles and her boyfriend in college rode one. Then he sheepishly corrects her by saying that he rides a bike-cycle. Love it.

Incidentally, that wife that Einstein was fucking also happens to be his cousin. True story.


Wed Aug 03, 2011 3:20 pm
Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
ed_metal_head wrote:
Incidentally, that wife that Einstein was fucking also happens to be his cousin. True story.


Wha?

Well fuck...kind of twists that line of mine now, doesn't it...


Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:26 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
79. "Ronald Reagan? The actor? Then who's vice president, Jerry Lewis?"

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Why it's great

Because it's a funny line. Back to the Future is a funny film, and despite what I wrote in the other thread over in GD (which I fully stand behind), I also believe it's an extremely entertaining film. Note to Hollywood: Please don't remake this.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR5BfQ4rEqQ&feature=feedlik

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Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:12 am
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
Evenflow8112 wrote:
thered47 wrote:
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
90. "You know how I know you're gay?"



I have to admit that this is a line a hate passionately from The 40 Year Old Virgin. Not only is it annoyingly repeated to point of tedium, but it also evokes annoying gay stereotypes. Just saying.



Give me a break. If anything, the movie trivialized the use of homophobic language with that phrase's inclusion - presenting homophobic logic as immature and brash. I hate how almost everything in America needs to either be sterilized or left on the cutting room floor just because some liberal white guy somewhere thinks it's offensive to a minority or put-upon demographic. I've never heard anyone complain about this phrase when speaking of 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', and I lived in the heart of the Metropolitan area for decades. Just because someone makes a joke about the homosexual lifestyle or uses the word 'gay' in a humorous subtext, does not mean they hate gays or fear becoming one. In fact, it's usually the opposite - people who oppose homosexuality are usually rather serious and militant about it. Sorry, but if you find the use of the word 'gay' funny, you're no worse or better than someone who found seasons 1 & 2 of 'Wonder Showzen' (which pretty much satirizes everything that can be satirized) to be the funniest thing since tickling. In the words of Joe Rogan - 'Everything is funny. Fuck you.'


As part of that minority/put-upon demographic I have to say, yes. That actually is one of my favorite parts in the movie.

'You know how I know you're gay? You saw My Girl.'
'You know how I know you're gay? You took me to My Girl.'


Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:12 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
78. "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

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Why it's great

There were several 1960s films that took the romance out of the Western, but none did it more effectively than The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. This scene (which likely inspired Han shooting first) showcases the West at its most viscous and least romantic, but leaves the wisecracks intact. A great scene in a great film.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUslGSoEH8I&feature=feedlik

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Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:51 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
^ Great choice. Simply, one of the best lines in movie history. I'd put it even higher than you. It's a great line in print, but it really gets that extra kick due to the delivery. Those few seconds are all the proof you need to know that Eli Wallach is one of the most underrated actors in movie history.


Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:37 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
77. "Also, dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."

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Why it's great

Because it's the kind of line that comes out of nowhere. The Big Lebowski has plenty of lines like this; in this case, Walter stops his vulgar rant to use an uber-PC phrase like "preferred nomenclature." And he's the last person you'd expect to be politically correct, so it's funny.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYOzUHnPJvU&feature=feedlik

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Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:01 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
77. "Also, dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."

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Why it's great

Because it's the kind of line that comes out of nowhere. The Big Lebowski has plenty of lines like this; in this case, Walter stops his vulgar rant to use an uber-PC phrase like "preferred nomenclature." And he's the last person you'd expect to be politically correct, so it's funny.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYOzUHnPJvU&feature=feedlik


Yesssssssss. I want to hug you for this one. Incidentally, one of my favorite lines from the movie is the payoff to this one. It's a few scenes later when The Dude first goes to visit The Big Lebowski and he goes on his "every bum's lot in life is his own" rant. He says, "I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea." As if Koreans and Chinese are the same. Hilariously good stuff and a hell of a way to add some character to the villain of the film.


Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:53 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
76. "I didn't give you the finger. I still have all my fingers."

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Why it's great

Most people don't get Troma humor. But for those who do, Tromeo and Juliet is a laugh riot. It's twisted, grotesque, vulgar, and relatively faithful to Shakespeare's play. This scene in particular contains lots of funny bits. Director Lloyd Kaufman is one of my all-time favorite directors, and this isn't the last we'll be seeing of him.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVdHIEmuSL0

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Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:30 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
75. "Well listen to you. Telling me I can't do something because of the color of my skin? You're the racist."

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Why it's great

Kevin Smith is a one-trick pony of ass and dick jokes, but when he's on he's on. Clerks II is one of those times when he's most definitely on the ball, and it's full of great lines and funny scenes. This scene is one of the funniest; it plays completely off of Randal's cluelessness, and how he thinks he can reclaim the term "porch monkey." I think Clerks II may be Smith's best film; it's certainly one of his funniest, and it has a lot of heart to boot. As for Dante and Randal...I get the feeling that would like working with them.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWdVwt2deY4&feature=related

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Wed Aug 17, 2011 1:42 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
I was honestly surprised at the reception Clerks II got, for me it is in the bottom 5 of the 2000's. Poorly written with stunningly annoying conversations devoid of any wit, unfunny, terrible acting (can see why those 2 leads went nowhere) and appalling photgraphy. I detest it enough that it starts to make my blood pressure rise.


Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:30 pm
Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
Hmm, I enjoyed it but found it to be less then the sum of its parts (and less then the original film as well).


Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:41 am
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
74. "Hey! I found the ass!"

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Why it's great

Well, maybe this isn't a great line per se, but this quote always made me laugh hardest out of all the funny lines in Tremors. It's a movie that's both thrilling and funny, and one of the best of all the modern B-movies. So with that in mind, there's only two quick points I want to make about Tremors:

1. Hollywood will probably get their grubby hands on this and remake it someday. But I really, really hope they don't.

2. In the scene where the girl's jeans get caught in barbed wire and she takes them off to get away from the Graboid, it's revealed that she's wearing old-fashioned granny panties. We all know that if Tremors were being made today, she'd be wearing a thong.

And finally, I couldn't find a clip of this scene, but for reference, it's right after the part where Bacon and Ward kill the first Graboid by running it into the aqueduct wall.

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Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:25 am
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
74. "Hey! I found the ass!"

Image

Why it's great

Well, maybe this isn't a great line per se, but this quote always made me laugh hardest out of all the funny lines in Tremors. It's a movie that's both thrilling and funny, and one of the best of all the modern B-movies. So with that in mind, there's only two quick points I want to make about Tremors:

1. Hollywood will probably get their grubby hands on this and remake it someday. But I really, really hope they don't.

2. In the scene where the girl's jeans get caught in barbed wire and she takes them off to get away from the Graboid, it's revealed that she's wearing old-fashioned granny panties. We all know that if Tremors were being made today, she'd be wearing a thong.

And finally, I couldn't find a clip of this scene, but for reference, it's right after the part where Bacon and Ward kill the first Graboid by running it into the aqueduct wall.


I know this exact line and you're right, it's hilarious. As is this entire movie. Tremors is just fucking awesome in every imaginable way.

Fred Ward plays Danny McBride's father in 30 Seconds or Less. That guy is almost 70 years old and he's still jacked. He's great.


Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:11 am
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
73. "You must be the parents of this young lady. I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did."

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Why it's great

Everyone's been caught having sex at one time or another, and generally it's pretty embarrassing. This scene takes it to the extreme, with both Jim's parents and the girl's parents walking in. It also is a fine showcase for Eugene Levy, who is the best character in the American Pie series without a doubt. I always liked Jim's dad; he was the perfect mixture of genuine caring and cluelessness, and he always meant well regardless.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7RKrb4jLOU&feature=feedlik

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Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:11 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
72. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

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Why it's great

There are many completely ludicrously funny moments in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Everyone has their favorites: the Black Knight, the killer rabbit, the Knights Who Say Ni, the Black Beast of Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh, and so on. For my money, the taunting Frenchman is one of the funniest characters in the film. His insults are crude and eloquent, always balancing that fine line...much like the Pythons themselves.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs

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Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:26 am
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
71. "That Count Dracula is no good for anyone and never was!"

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Why it's great

First, a little background: Blood For Dracula is about a sickly Count Dracula who needs the blood of virgins (pronounced "where-gins") to survive. Believing he'll find pure women in a Catholic country, he travels to Italy in search of where-gins. However, the women he chooses to drink from have already been fooling around...sexually, of course.

So as you can see, there's plenty of opportunities for humor in this. But Blood For Dracula plays it straight, which of course makes it funny. This is one of those films that can be classified as "so bad it's good;" Udo Kier is a riot, and there's plenty of hysterical one-liners in this movie.

Sadly, I couldn't find a clip of this on YouTube. Clips of the film aren't easy to find on there (lots of titties and bush in this film), but it can be found on DVD. The Criterion edition is long out of print (a shame, because it's a good print of the film), but Image picked it up and you can get it from them.

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Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:37 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
70. "I take it black, like my men."

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Why it's great

Airplane is one of my all-time favorite comedies, and what makes it so funny is that it's full of characters who seemingly have no idea that they're completely hysterical. It's worth noting that much of the cast - Peter Graves, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges - were better known for their dramatic work than for anything else before they made this film.

And this particular scene? Don't expect to find it on TV. Just like the hilarious "ever seen a grown man naked?" line, this line also often gets the axe by the TV prudes. A joke without a punchline.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEVTQHiAQRA&feature=related

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Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:55 pm
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Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
72. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Image

Why it's great

There are many completely ludicrously funny moments in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Everyone has their favorites: the Black Knight, the killer rabbit, the Knights Who Say Ni, the Black Beast of Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh, and so on. For my money, the taunting Frenchman is one of the funniest characters in the film. His insults are crude and eloquent, always balancing that fine line...much like the Pythons themselves.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs


Pretty much any line from a Monty Python flick should be on a Top 100 list.
-Jeremy


Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:01 pm
Post Re: Sexual Chocolate presents: 100 years, 100 quotes
thered47 wrote:
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
72. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Image

Why it's great

There are many completely ludicrously funny moments in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Everyone has their favorites: the Black Knight, the killer rabbit, the Knights Who Say Ni, the Black Beast of Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh, and so on. For my money, the taunting Frenchman is one of the funniest characters in the film. His insults are crude and eloquent, always balancing that fine line...much like the Pythons themselves.

Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs


Pretty much any line from a Monty Python flick should be on a Top 100 list.
-Jeremy


I'll offer an alternative opinion and say I don't particularly care for the taunting Frenchmen nor do I like the Knights Who Say Ni. The rest is pretty awesome though.

And, yes, that Airplane line is indeed funny. I laughed a little just reading it.


Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:18 am
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