Discussion of movies and ReelThoughts topics

It is currently Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:02 pm




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16854 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 739, 740, 741, 742, 743, 744, 745 ... 843  Next
Last Movie You Watched 
Author Message
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:04 pm
Posts: 1807
Location: New Hampshire
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Mark III wrote:
Zero for Conduct.

Apparent influence on Truffaut's 400 Blows and Lindsay Anderson's If..., two movies that lack a dwarf. Zero for Conduct has a dwarf. My heart isn't in writing anything on this. It's about 40 minutes. My mind frequently wandered and I missed a good 15 or so minutes right in the middle. Just zoned right out. Flipped through a Guinness Book of World Records for the last 20 minutes. The most tattooed man on earth has tattoos covering 100% of his person. Gums and everything. I missed the first 5 or so minutes of the movie because I started feeling listless, wondering if there was something I should be doing. I also didn't really pay much attention to to the first 40 minutes because I Googled "bees hive hexagon" and that eventually lead to something around owning a pet lynx. You know how the internet is. The one minute of Zero For Conduct I did watch was pretty intense. It was definitely on. On mute. I started it with the best intentions.

100% of his person! Gums included.


This is a great writeup, but to be honest, I'm not sure what you actually thought of the movie.

_________________
Death is pretty final
I'm collecting vinyl
I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world.


Mon Mar 24, 2014 12:11 pm
Profile
Assistant Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:43 pm
Posts: 863
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
What I'm attempting to develop, Sexual Chocolate (henceforth shortened to The SC for brevity and euphony and informality (though Dr. Chocolate, my first choice, will be used interchangeably as I feel it is both polite and implies the 'Sexual')), is what I'm designating the New New Criticism. We've all gotten so used to the idea of the standard format that it's tempting to skip over content, so assured are we that may, at a glance, substitute gleaned essence for proper substance. Our eyes glaze over when we see something like the following example:

GRAVITY - *** (out of ****)

Sandra Bullock has done it again as Nellie Friedberger, first Jewish astronaut stranded in space! Taking her one woman show, The Gravitas Monologues, into the realm of motion pictures has liberated the character in the most terrifyingly literal way. Rather than situate Bullock on a spare set, cigarette dangling from her bottom lip, as she recites a monologue about building a small electric chair as an art installation and a creative way to execute "the devil's lap warmer, the common household cat -- never a stray, the rare pleasure that is to hear the shriek of neighbors as they find their beloved Purrsy Jackson has been judged in the most biblical sense" (Act II, Scene 42) we are given the opportunity to see Nellie engaged in a battle of the wills as her space suit judges her as she has previously judged the cats of neighbors. Watching Friedberger attempt to draw oxygen out of a juicebox, the one her long-dead father gave to her as a parting gift prior to his ill-fated vacation to Canada's Northern Territories, is brought to stunning life in 3D. There won't be a dry eye in the house when Friedberger attempts to build a phone out of George Clooney's remains so she may call and wish her mother some luck with the experimental chemotherapy.

Pretty dry, right? Rather than reviewing the movie proper, why not review the stray thoughts that run through our minds as we either watch, don't watch, or don't even consider watching the movie? That's the New New Criticism and I think it's pretty swell. Gone is the need to actually watch the film, ushering in the era where our impressions and random meaningless narrative capture the essence of the film or, possibly, what we imagine the film may be. An example of this may look like this:

Gravity *** (out of ****)

Old Jim was at it once again: building a small electric chair in an effort to better judge the field mice that were consuming his grain. He was exhausted from the drama of taking the hostage and needed respite from the ghostly voices that whispered "You're drinking your family's money away," voices that sounded just like his three children and wife.
"I'll never be the dancer my parents told me only little freak boys wanted to be," said Jim at the parent/teacher conference, his youngest son's math teacher's glazed eyes and frustrated line of a mouth offering little indication as to how effective a device this latest electric chair, built from the straw that stuffed the George Clooney scarecrow recently found disemboweled, would be.
"Does straw conduct electricity?" asked Jim.
"Your son needs tutoring," said the teacher, a wiry man who had seen better days, better students.
Jim scratched his head and began his 7:23 ritual of crying himself to sleep.
"Mr. Friedberger, I have other parents to see. If you would please wake up and clean the puddle that's collecting around your desk," the last words Jim heard before dreaming of the race car bed he had coveted as a child.

This, I believe, better captures the essence of Gravity. That I haven't seen the film becomes completely irrelevant to my New New Criticism of it. It was in this way that I approached Zero For Conduct and in this way that I spent my lunch break.

_________________
"The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies." - Holden McNeil


Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:21 pm
Profile
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:42 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: New Zealand
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Mark III wrote:
This, I believe, better captures the essence of Gravity. That I haven't seen the film becomes completely irrelevant to my New New Criticism of it. It was in this way that I approached Zero For Conduct and in this way that I spent my lunch break.

Erm. Your analysis is so random sounding, that I utterly fail to grasp any of it. You're not using one of those web-based short story generators are you? I think I'm really not a fan of New New Criticism.
Reminds me a lot of "Ask Raymond Carver" from The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-ra ... ver,12208/


Mon Mar 24, 2014 6:38 pm
Profile
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:04 pm
Posts: 1807
Location: New Hampshire
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
That's...kinda creative. It makes me think I should review movies in haiku format.

_________________
Death is pretty final
I'm collecting vinyl
I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world.


Mon Mar 24, 2014 7:06 pm
Profile
Assistant Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:43 pm
Posts: 863
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Haiku has been done. A movie review done collectively, an exquisite corpse? Now there's fresh territory. Especially if everyone reviewing the movie hadn't seen it. Or heard of it. Maybe the movie doesn't even exist and it still gets a full analysis. Though I think that's already been done, at least on this forum.

_________________
"The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies." - Holden McNeil


Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:31 pm
Profile
Critic
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 am
Posts: 6505
Location: Easton, MD
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Mark III wrote:
Haiku has been done. A movie review done collectively, an exquisite corpse? Now there's fresh territory. Especially if everyone reviewing the movie hadn't seen it. Or heard of it. Maybe the movie doesn't even exist and it still gets a full analysis. Though I think that's already been done, at least on this forum.


Oh I'd say it has, old friend, I'd say it has :)

_________________
I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger


Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:38 pm
Profile
Assistant Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:43 pm
Posts: 863
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Warning Shadows, the last silent movie I'm going to watch for a very long stretch of time. Fuck you, March project.

Oh yeah. Here's the review:
Attachment:
warningshadow.jpg
warningshadow.jpg [ 54.74 KiB | Viewed 418 times ]


Stare into the eye.

Image

Let's roll.

_________________
"The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies." - Holden McNeil


Tue Mar 25, 2014 2:22 am
Profile
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:04 pm
Posts: 1807
Location: New Hampshire
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Best Worst Movie

A documentary about Troll 2, often cited as the worst film ever made. However, it has a legion of fans that have embraced its so-bad-it's-great status, and this film focuses on them as well. We meet the cast and crew of the film years later: The lead actor is a dentist and seems like a genuinely nice guy, while the lead actress is a bit of a headcase. Regardless, it seems like they have fun with the film's cult status. Making this kind of funny is the inclusion of interviews with Troll 2's director, who is a complete dickhole and comes off as if he thinks he's Orson Welles, having made Citizen Kane 2.

This is an alright movie. But it did get me interested in watching Troll 2 for shits and gigs.

_________________
Death is pretty final
I'm collecting vinyl
I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world.


Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:26 pm
Profile
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:42 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: New Zealand
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
Best Worst Movie
A documentary about Troll 2, often cited as the worst film ever made.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/ 2.6/10? Not even close to the worst. I'm willing to bet it probably will look like Citizen Kane compared to say Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast.


Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:34 pm
Profile
Auteur
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pm
Posts: 4026
Location: Zion, IL
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
Best Worst Movie

A documentary about Troll 2, often cited as the worst film ever made. However, it has a legion of fans that have embraced its so-bad-it's-great status, and this film focuses on them as well. We meet the cast and crew of the film years later: The lead actor is a dentist and seems like a genuinely nice guy, while the lead actress is a bit of a headcase. Regardless, it seems like they have fun with the film's cult status. Making this kind of funny is the inclusion of interviews with Troll 2's director, who is a complete dickhole and comes off as if he thinks he's Orson Welles, having made Citizen Kane 2.

This is an alright movie. But it did get me interested in watching Troll 2 for shits and gigs.

I've seen Troll 2 and while it does have some pretty ridiculous elements to it, I can't really say I would call it the worst film ever made, I don't think it's even close to the same level of awful as say the Twilight films.


Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:37 pm
Profile
Auteur
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pm
Posts: 4026
Location: Zion, IL
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
nitrium wrote:
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
Best Worst Movie
A documentary about Troll 2, often cited as the worst film ever made.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/ 2.6/10? Not even close to the worst. I'm willing to bet it probably will look like Citizen Kane compared to say Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast.

Snow Shark was a pretty fun film, you want a truly awful film? Try out Dark Heaven? Still the worst movie i've seen to date:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0391044/


Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:38 pm
Profile
Producer
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 6:26 pm
Posts: 2157
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Troll 2 is loads of fun. I have trouble ranking it among the worst purely on that basis. Watching it with Rifftrax commentary is especially recommended.

_________________
The temptation is to like what you should like--not what you do like... another temptation is to come up with an interesting reason for liking it that may not actually be the reason you like it.


Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:01 pm
Profile
Producer

Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:44 pm
Posts: 2028
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Quick question OT: for someone who's seen it, is Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments actually any good? Or entertaining? Love El Cid, don't like Ben-Hur as much, but still haven't seen this one.


Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:04 pm
Profile
Second Unit Director
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 4:57 pm
Posts: 406
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
MGamesCook wrote:
Quick question OT: for someone who's seen it, is Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments actually any good? Or entertaining? Love El Cid, don't like Ben-Hur as much, but still haven't seen this one.


Which Cecil B. DeMille Ten commandments? He's made two of them.


But, I think you're talking about the Heston one right? I like it. I thought Yul Brynner and Heston played off each other well and Brynner had the most awesome lines. It is quite long...it's also full of itself though.


Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:11 pm
Profile
Second Unit Director

Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2012 12:14 am
Posts: 322
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
patrick wrote:
MGamesCook wrote:
Quick question OT: for someone who's seen it, is Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments actually any good? Or entertaining? Love El Cid, don't like Ben-Hur as much, but still haven't seen this one.


Which Cecil B. DeMille Ten commandments? He's made two of them.


But, I think you're talking about the Heston one right? I like it. I thought Yul Brynner and Heston played off each other well and Brynner had the most awesome lines. It is quite long...it's also full of itself though.


Brynner is The Man in it no doubt. It is awfully full of itself, but the visuals are pretty amazing for a 50 year-old flick. But yeah most of all it's long. Anne Baxter was way better in All about Eve, like night-and-day better. Other than that I'll just express surprise that someone on this forum hasn't seen it.


Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:32 pm
Profile
Director
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:42 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: New Zealand
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Vexer wrote:
Snow Shark was a pretty fun film, you want a truly awful film? Try out Dark Heaven? Still the worst movie i've seen to date:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0391044/

I'm a glutton for punishment, and I watched Freddy Got Fingered for this forum, I'll watch Dark Heaven too. I'm betting that, like Freddy is seen as by most here (not by you), it isn't as nearly bad as you say. I like mixing up the good and the bad on occasion.


Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:11 am
Profile
Auteur
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pm
Posts: 4026
Location: Zion, IL
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
nitrium wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Snow Shark was a pretty fun film, you want a truly awful film? Try out Dark Heaven? Still the worst movie i've seen to date:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0391044/

I'm a glutton for punishment, and I watched Freddy Got Fingered for this forum, I'll watch Dark Heaven too. I'm betting that, like Freddy is seen as by most here (not by you), it isn't as nearly bad as you say. I like mixing up the good and the bad on occasion.

OK but don't say I didn't warn you.

BTW, have you seen Southland Tales? That's another truly horrible film.


Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:21 am
Profile
Cinematographer

Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:19 pm
Posts: 668
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
Mark III wrote:
Warning Shadows, the last silent movie I'm going to watch for a very long stretch of time. Fuck you, March project.

Oh yeah. Here's the review:


Can't say I agree with the review. That was closer to my thoughts about the General, but a little more passionate! I actually was quite taken - not so much by the story as by the production of the shadow puppet shows.

My sentiment is the same for the March project. The tally ends at four. I will, however, follow up sometime soon on Syd's suggestion of Destiny. May need to take up Peng's suggestion of Sherlock Jr. Not going to be this month though.


Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:33 am
Profile
Second Unit Director

Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:45 pm
Posts: 476
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
MGamesCook wrote:
Quick question OT: for someone who's seen it, is Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments actually any good? Or entertaining? Love El Cid, don't like Ben-Hur as much, but still haven't seen this one.


Is 'The Ten Commandments' (1956) any good? No.
Is it entertaining? No.

There are quite a few iconic images and it's one of these mammoth productions of the late 50ies/early 60ies, which impresses by scale alone. If that's enough for you, there's a good chance that you'll like it. It's also quite a silly movie. When God manifests as a burning bush, it just looks like Charlton Heston talking to some shrubbery and outdated special effects. But I don't like biblical epics much anyway


Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:50 am
Profile
Cinematographer

Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:19 pm
Posts: 668
Post Re: Last Movie You Watched
I absolutely love your reviews of Gravity and that of Zero for Conduct as well. The 3 star quality of the stray thoughts generated sounds like a solid recommendation, however. I was going to spend some time this weekend thinking about Gravity, but the spoilers included in your review have somewhat dampened my enthusiasm.

Mark III wrote:
What I'm attempting to develop, Sexual Chocolate (henceforth shortened to The SC for brevity and euphony and informality (though Dr. Chocolate, my first choice, will be used interchangeably as I feel it is both polite and implies the 'Sexual')), is what I'm designating the New New Criticism. We've all gotten so used to the idea of the standard format that it's tempting to skip over content, so assured are we that may, at a glance, substitute gleaned essence for proper substance. Our eyes glaze over when we see something like the following example:

GRAVITY - *** (out of ****)

Sandra Bullock has done it again as Nellie Friedberger, first Jewish astronaut stranded in space! Taking her one woman show, The Gravitas Monologues, into the realm of motion pictures has liberated the character in the most terrifyingly literal way. Rather than situate Bullock on a spare set, cigarette dangling from her bottom lip, as she recites a monologue about building a small electric chair as an art installation and a creative way to execute "the devil's lap warmer, the common household cat -- never a stray, the rare pleasure that is to hear the shriek of neighbors as they find their beloved Purrsy Jackson has been judged in the most biblical sense" (Act II, Scene 42) we are given the opportunity to see Nellie engaged in a battle of the wills as her space suit judges her as she has previously judged the cats of neighbors. Watching Friedberger attempt to draw oxygen out of a juicebox, the one her long-dead father gave to her as a parting gift prior to his ill-fated vacation to Canada's Northern Territories, is brought to stunning life in 3D. There won't be a dry eye in the house when Friedberger attempts to build a phone out of George Clooney's remains so she may call and wish her mother some luck with the experimental chemotherapy.

Pretty dry, right? Rather than reviewing the movie proper, why not review the stray thoughts that run through our minds as we either watch, don't watch, or don't even consider watching the movie? That's the New New Criticism and I think it's pretty swell. Gone is the need to actually watch the film, ushering in the era where our impressions and random meaningless narrative capture the essence of the film or, possibly, what we imagine the film may be. An example of this may look like this:

Gravity *** (out of ****)

Old Jim was at it once again: building a small electric chair in an effort to better judge the field mice that were consuming his grain. He was exhausted from the drama of taking the hostage and needed respite from the ghostly voices that whispered "You're drinking your family's money away," voices that sounded just like his three children and wife.
"I'll never be the dancer my parents told me only little freak boys wanted to be," said Jim at the parent/teacher conference, his youngest son's math teacher's glazed eyes and frustrated line of a mouth offering little indication as to how effective a device this latest electric chair, built from the straw that stuffed the George Clooney scarecrow recently found disemboweled, would be.
"Does straw conduct electricity?" asked Jim.
"Your son needs tutoring," said the teacher, a wiry man who had seen better days, better students.
Jim scratched his head and began his 7:23 ritual of crying himself to sleep.
"Mr. Friedberger, I have other parents to see. If you would please wake up and clean the puddle that's collecting around your desk," the last words Jim heard before dreaming of the race car bed he had coveted as a child.

This, I believe, better captures the essence of Gravity. That I haven't seen the film becomes completely irrelevant to my New New Criticism of it. It was in this way that I approached Zero For Conduct and in this way that I spent my lunch break.


Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:52 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16854 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 739, 740, 741, 742, 743, 744, 745 ... 843  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot] and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by Vjacheslav Trushkin for Free Forum/DivisionCore.
Translated by Xaphos © 2007, 2008, 2009 phpBB.fr