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Celebrating the Epically Awful 
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Post Celebrating the Epically Awful
Not just mediocre films, but fucking terrible ones.

Last night I watched 7 minutes worth of outtakes from The Room (2003) on youtube. I know I can't see the whole picture in 7 minutes, but what I saw shocked me. Is this for real? The acting seems bad even by the standards of drunken amature dramatics. The diologue...I mean...WTF?? People talking over each other, sentences that are complete non-sequiturs. Has anyone seen the whole thing?

One I have watched and was reminded of recently, Play it to the Bone (2000). Antionio Banderes and Woody Harrilson are friends and down-and-out boxers who are forced to battle for the same woman and a belated shot at "glory". An incredibly bad film by any standard.

Look forward to hearing more...

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 5:07 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
I actually own The Room....what you saw does not even come close in preparing you for what's in store.


Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:54 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
patrick wrote:
I actually own The Room....what you saw does not even come close in preparing you for what's in store.


I don't get it. Is it a weird movie or just a bad one?


Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:55 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
patrick wrote:
I actually own The Room....what you saw does not even come close in preparing you for what's in store.



I'm giving serious consideration to putting it on my LoveFilm rental list for next week.

I'm sometimes immune from the whole "so bad it's good" thing...but this looks so epic!

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 7:01 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
MGamesCook wrote:
patrick wrote:
I actually own The Room....what you saw does not even come close in preparing you for what's in store.


I don't get it. Is it a weird movie or just a bad one?


Youtube it and see.

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 7:01 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
I also own a copy of The Room. It is wonderfully, gloriously bad. Imagine a Tennessee Williams play produced by 10 year olds and starring actors who have never acted in their life.

Starring an unholy combination of Jean Claude Van Damme and a wax mannequin of Fabio that was left in the sun for too long.

With sex scenes directed by someone who tried to break into 1990s R&B music videos but never made it.

And a script that was accidentally reshuffled and partially destroyed.

Seriously, MGames, this movie is bad, weird, inept, and a barrel of other adjectives.

You have to see it.

---

Also, Troll 2. This one was directed by someone who'd actually worked before, so I don't know what his excuse is.

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:17 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
The only excuse behind Troll 2 were the words 'fuck it'. But what a glorious fuck it was. I almost fell off my couch with the line, 'YOU DON'T PISS ON HOSPITALITY!' and I might have actually fallen off when the film got to that balogna sandwich... or was it the death by popcorn... Nilbog is goblin...

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:35 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Don't get me even started on those movies.

When it comes to epically awful, take a look at (in no particular order): Michael Bay's soon-to-be Transformers quadrilogy, Battleship, the two Atlas Shrugged movies, everything that came out this past January (especially Movie 43, which was depressingly godawful), the Resident Evil films, the Underworld movies, the Silent Hill films, A Thousand Words, Piranha 3DD, and (of course) Battlefield Earth.


Fri Feb 01, 2013 4:23 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Hmmm... I can think of three films that I would put in my Godawful category. I usually have a pretty good pre-filter so I don'T end up watching really bad movies, at least not intentionally...

Anyway, my three are Pret a Porter, Very Bad Things, and Charlies Angels II, which it the only movie to date that I actually did not watch all the way through.


Fri Feb 01, 2013 5:43 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Ha, Full Throttle is one of only 2 movies i've ever walked out on.

It's like a demented pop-video. And that other Díaz vehicle, The Sweetest Thing... fucking painful!

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:11 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
This thread reminded me of an idea I once had...to review the 100 films on IMDB's 100 Worst Films list. It would be an experiment in tolerance as well as an exploration of bad cinema; I've only seen one film on the Bottom 100, and that was a long time ago.

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Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:50 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
I've enjoyed almost every film that you guys have mentioned(Play It To THe Bone wasn't bad, just mediocre and forgettable).

For me an epically awful film is I Heart Huckabees, never in the history of film has there ever(except the next film i'm mentioning) been a more dissapointing follow-up film, after Three Kings, it looked like David O Russell was going to be one of the greats, but what we got was an epic shitfest with godawful attempts at humor, a good cast that's hamstrung by horrible dialogue, an inane story and no real characters that are worth giving a dman about, just one-dimensional caricatures, the behind-the-scenes video of Russell acting like a total dick should tell you all you need to know.

Them there's Southland Tales, no film has ever tested my patience as much as that one did. I wanted to turn it off and break the disc in half after only 20 minutes, even at his craziest, David Lynch could never make a film as nonsensical and asinine as Southland Tales if he tried, nothing in that film makes a goddamn lick of sense, whole scenes just seem to be weird for the sake of being weird. It plays like a really bad SNL sketch that long overstays it's welcome, with scenes that you can't tell whether yo're supposed to laugh or not, characters who are all unlikeable and talk like they're from another planet. Like Huckabees, the film manages to make experienced actors look like complete amateurs with the godawful dialogue they have to recite, the narrative is jumbled and extremely confusing, it jumps around like a rabbit on crack and never becomes remotely interesting, by the time it was over, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, it made me want to track down Richard Kelly and shove the DVd up his ass while calling him a no-talent hack. I hope for everyone else's sake that he NEVER directs another film again.


Fri Feb 01, 2013 7:43 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
lol, Vexer, Vexer, Vexer. Always refreshing to have you contribute. :)

I loved I (heart) Huckabees.


Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:37 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
MunichMan wrote:
lol, Vexer, Vexer, Vexer. Always refreshing to have you contribute. :)

I loved I (heart) Huckabees.


Oh thank god I wasn't the only one!

My worst film experiences would be Half Baked, Another Gay Movie, and Women in Revolt.

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Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:53 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
thered47 wrote:
MunichMan wrote:
lol, Vexer, Vexer, Vexer. Always refreshing to have you contribute. :)

I loved I (heart) Huckabees.


Oh thank god I wasn't the only one!

My worst film experiences would be Half Baked, Another Gay Movie, and Women in Revolt.

Being a huge Dave Chappelle fan, I thought Half-Baked was hilarious.


Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:30 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
I love Dave, but I couldn't promote Half-Baked as anything more than a handful of funny gags surrounded by an unfunny movie. It's just a little too... what's the phrase... haphazard? Careless? Not fully developed? Lacking in thoroughness?

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Sun Feb 03, 2013 1:09 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Ken wrote:
I love Dave, but I couldn't promote Half-Baked as anything more than a handful of funny gags surrounded by an unfunny movie. It's just a little too... what's the phrase... haphazard? Careless? Not fully developed? Lacking in thoroughness?

Yeah it was a little haphazard, but that didn't stop it from being funny to me, it all depends on your sense of humor. I lean towards more low-brow humor and I find overly quirky humor to be very annoying and unfunny most of the time, that's why I'm big on films like Juno and 500 Days Of Summer, they were just too damn quirky for me to get into.


Sun Feb 03, 2013 1:20 am
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Here's a film i'm sure most of us can agree is godawful-Cosmopolis,what the fuck was Crononberg thinking? I'm beginning to lose faith in him(he's doing ANOTHER film with Pattinson called "Map To The Stars" :roll: ) ever making a good film again. I could not possibly think of a worse 2012 film if I tried, the story was pretentious artsy crap of the worst kind, and the film proves once and for all that Robert Pattinson cannot act worth a damn, I have NEVER seen a more wooden performance then the one he gives in that movie. But even a better actor wouldn't have been able to save this dreck, so maybe I shouldn't blame Pattinson too much, but all the same, now that Twilight is finally over, I think his days as a leading man are numbered.


Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:15 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Having not seen Cosmopolis, I can't comment on it specifically. But I've seen most of Cronenberg's work and can say without reservation that he's never made a boring film. Some are more successful than others, yes, but none of his work is boring.

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Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:38 pm
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Post Re: Celebrating the Epically Awful
Sexual Chocolate wrote:
Having not seen Cosmopolis, I can't comment on it specifically. But I've seen most of Cronenberg's work and can say without reservation that he's never made a boring film. Some are more successful than others, yes, but none of his work is boring.


Cosmopolis does decend into many scenes of boring tedium. But it's also just offbeat and weird enough that I was compelled to keep watching. For most of the film, not much happens, but when it does it certainly comes as a shock to the senses. Whilst I'd still call the film a failure, I don't hate it nearly as much as Vexer.

As far as epically awful, I consider The Happening to be Shyamalan's masterpiece.


Last edited by Awkward Beard Man on Wed Feb 06, 2013 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:09 pm
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