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The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread 
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Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
majoraphasia wrote:
ram1312 wrote:
Damn...I feel that Bondurant failed you by Street Trash not being exploitaty enough.


Than I feel good letting both Bondurant and yourself know that, out of the movies I've watched for this thread, Street Trash was the best. It may not have been a letter-perfect example of exploitation but it was a lot of fun -- that's just a better use of time than misery/cannibalism.


Ah...I see. I'm getting a better understanding of this journey of yours. I can't wait for more reviews...especially the triple feature now.


Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:55 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
majoraphasia wrote:
The first melting of the morning is often the hardest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qP3Tx19w7c


Oh my god that was more epic than the melting scene in Troll 2 ("NILBOG IS GOBLIN!!" D:)


Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:40 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Dear Major,

As the highest ranking member on the reelviews forum that will sacrifice his time in hopes of finding the most gruesome, most obscene, most offensive films out there, I have a challenge for you. The movie is titled 'The Human Centipede' and I would love nothing further than to hear your review of said film.

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/th ... de/trailer

If there is a theatre near you showing this film, I am willing to pay for your film ticket via Fandango or some other outlet for you to go see this film and review it.

Major, are you up to the challenge?


Sun May 09, 2010 5:39 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
stiefmo wrote:
Dear Major,

As the highest ranking member on the reelviews forum that will sacrifice his time in hopes of finding the most gruesome, most obscene, most offensive films out there, I have a challenge for you. The movie is titled 'The Human Centipede' and I would love nothing further than to hear your review of said film.

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/th ... de/trailer

If there is a theatre near you showing this film, I am willing to pay for your film ticket via Fandango or some other outlet for you to go see this film and review it.

Major, are you up to the challenge?


I'm going to have to start calling you mo-stief because you do things in reverse!

Said person already provided thoughts on the film. You can read those thoughts here:
http://reelviews.net/reelviewsforum/viewtopic.php?p=51465#p51465

You can thank me by paying for my film ticket :D


Sun May 09, 2010 11:48 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Ha ha ha holy cow. Man that's fantastic. I mean talk about missing the boat. I'm like 12 days late. Ed, thanks for pointing that out. It's hard to keep up on all these post without much online time these days. I need to start being more diligent. I'm curious to hear more though. For some reason a film like this, I need a more personal review of events to come. Again though Ed, thanks for the heads up.


Mon May 10, 2010 12:44 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
stiefmo wrote:
Ha ha ha holy cow. Man that's fantastic. I mean talk about missing the boat. I'm like 12 days late. Ed, thanks for pointing that out. It's hard to keep up on all these post without much online time these days. I need to start being more diligent. I'm curious to hear more though. For some reason a film like this, I need a more personal review of events to come. Again though Ed, thanks for the heads up.


Glad to help. Also, if you want a more personal review you should probably contact him directly. I think we all grow a little dissatisfied with this place from time to time. No telling if it's temporary or permanent.


Tue May 11, 2010 11:22 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
ed_metal_head wrote:

Glad to help. Also, if you want a more personal review you should probably contact him directly. I think we all grow a little dissatisfied with this place from time to time. No telling if it's temporary or permanent.


Aw man...I just saw that ed. Damnit major...come back dude. I'll buy you a beer. :)


Tue May 11, 2010 11:48 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Me, whipping boy.

I really really admired The Human Centipede and would like to offer more commentary but I'm not entirely sure what more I could say. What are you interested in learning about it, stiefmo?

As for the I, Carly thing:

It was a response to a lot of hostility mixed with indifference that I saw at the time I wrote it. I stick by the hiatus (as I still stick by it: I wanted to get the Animated Movies list up because I had said I would + people had taken the time to work out lists. It would have been bullshit of me to just leave it like that.) But, for all the mission statements in the world, I find this forum to be a pretty frustrating place. I feel like there's a lot of time spent by a lot of people and it often gets ignored. That's frustrating and this place really can be a waste of time.)

That being said, I hate the idea of complete prohibitions. But I'd be silly to devote 20 posts a week here when I feel the return on investment isn't all that great. That's just me. I assume it's temporary.

But there's nothing that pisses me off more than seeing people "KEH! Whatever, you idiot!" other's opinions. I don't particularly give a fuck if "everyone is entitled" when everyone is equally entitled to a respectful response. It can't always fall under the protection of "But I feel really strongly about something so I'm given to histrionics!" Sometimes you just gotta say "Fuck this place -- at least for a while" and then just ignore some of the members.

That's enough of that.


Sat May 22, 2010 4:48 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
There's a fine fanzine published in Vancouver called Cinema Sewer if you enjoy reading about porn chic, blaxploitation and b-grade horror flicks.


Tue May 25, 2010 4:52 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Should we bring this thread back? I was REALLY getting into it.


Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:47 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Vexer wrote:
Should we bring this thread back? I was REALLY getting into it.


DONE! The revival of the thread is dedicated to ram1312 and Vexer.

Coming up next: Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)

Spoiler warning: through a fucking straw! Her brain is consumed through a fucking straw!

Also: I liked it.


Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:02 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Have I mentioned Hostel II anywhere? Probably not. But I ended up catching it on cable and, surprise surprise, finding it less effective than the first chapter but still reasonably interesting. On the surface the movie is all blood and guts but somewhere in the mix is a parable about women's lib. The movie was underappreciated (inevitable) and critically hazed but it's just about the most pure technical exercise one can give a story surrounding torture. I'm not sayin' it's great but it's not the complete failure, "downfall of civilation lectures #3: So-Called Torture Porn" that the critics panned it as.

I'm a believer in Eli Roth. I think the guy has both writing and directorial talent to spare. The name Ti West gets bandied about (for good reason) but Roth is the heir to exploitation's throne. Now if he could broaden his horizons and get out of this Hostel business... ah, to dream.


Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:15 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
majoraphasia wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Should we bring this thread back? I was REALLY getting into it.


DONE! The revival of the thread is dedicated to ram1312 and Vexer.

Coming up next: Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)

Spoiler warning: through a fucking straw! Her brain is consumed through a fucking straw!

Also: I liked it.


Fuck yeah Major! Good call Vex.

Good timing too...what with the remake to I Spit On Your Grave coming out and all.


Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:26 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
#4: Bloodsucking Freaks

Image

What's it about?

Master Sardu is one heck of a showman. His acts include drawing and quartering the ladies, beheading the ladies, electrocuting the ladies, driving a meat cleaver into the ladies and all in front of a paying audience. But how does Master Sardu work his magic mojo? (Hint: it's not magic and it ain't simulated.)


And what are we exploiting in this entry?


Hey ladies! (Get funky.) And the unexpected special guest of exploitation: theater critics. No need to rub your eyes to see if you read that correctly. Theater critics.

Summary of movie in a short sentence:

If you ever find your nipples attached to jumper cables which are attached to an elephant which is attached to 10,000 car batteries the smartest thing you can do is start dating a hunky football player some 2 weeks before your nipples meet the business end of those cables. Or: plan ahead.

Is it any good?

You know what? Kind of, yeah. This isn't a movie with any great ambitions but it basically satisfies every point of the contract one signs into when renting a movie called Bloodsucking Freaks. Certainly it's better than Charlie St. Cloud.

The meat:

The Pledge:

We have this lovely woman with amble bosoms that will magically lose her head thanks to this here rusty ol' gilly-tine. Whatchit drop!

The Turn:

Gilly-tine blade drops, head falls onto stage.


The Prestige:


Christian Bale is twins, Hugh Jackman is clonin' up hats, cats and wolverines and... ta-da! No trick. Those ladies are dead, baby.

The 70s were a spunky time for America: the sexual revolution was dead, the 30-somethings that tried to love "Friend of the Devil" and "Voodoo Chile" were exhausted from being left behind, and paradise had been paved over to find some space for your shiny new Plymouth Fury. An evening at the movies meant watching Linda Lovelace blow the repairman while Truman Capote munched popcorn behind you. Meanwhile, at the drive-in theater, you might find you missed the two-week run of The Wizard of Gore and kick yourself for poor time management. But, holy of holies, there by the remake of Wizard goeth Bloodsucking Freaks. And you do rejoice.

Bloodsucking Freaks is the very marrow of exploitation cinema: breasts as far as the eye can see, drills penetrating into those breasts and women getting the brutal fuck of anti-feminism on St. Andy's bedeviled cross. It's dungeon porn, really. And anti-feminism is what finds the bold print treatment on the docket. Or maybe feminism. What's clear is that a lot of women are dying and they're doing so while scantily clad.

The idea is that of an S&M theater that puts on a program for a sold-out crowd. The crowd only wishes for the simple beatings of women. And they get this. But the producers of this S&M show tire of just beatings and the easily-won cheers of thirsty tit buffs. No, they wish to escalate the violence in order to... wait for it... wait for it... wait... for... it... please an important theater critic. I repeat: the torturers want to elevate their artless act enough to please a theater critic. Yes. Really.

And so the violence escalates to include some beheadings (topless beheadings), a woman's brain being sucked through a straw (topless while brain being sucked), a dancing dwarf (naturally) and all things medieval-on-your-ass. The critic is eventually tortured to guarantee a good review and, well, that's about it.

Only not quite. Because it's the 70s and the movie has to make some 70s territorial pissings there is a very, very long subplot involving the rescue of one of the victims-to-be by a cop and the lady's hunky football-playing boyfriend (named Tom Maverick -- now that's just about the perfect name for a hero). It ends with Maverick saving the day and the evil Sardu's hostages being freed from their cage (a real cage, not a metaphorical one) in order to revenge themselves.

It reminded me of FeardotCom because it's the same fucking movie. But whereas that Dorffy vehicle had a timely message to peddle the message of Bloodsucking Freaks is as untimely in 2010 as it must have been in 1976: don't worry your pretty boobs, baby, because chiseled abs with a hungry cock only six inches below are here to save you. The Summer of Love isn't even a decade in the dirt and already the 1950s are phoning and looking for a one night stand. With pliers, thumb screws, leather, whips and a rusty chainsaw. Those pity fucks hurt... hurt so good.

Or hurt so bad if you're a woman, an actress, finding yourself exploited by trying to catch that big break in a low-budgie called Bloodsucking Freaks. Whatever pays the bills? Maybe. But, as thoroughly misogynistic and brutal as this movie may be, it stands as a relic of that white noise following the burning bra and Friedan's advice on how to re-use a lamb skin condom. It's pure anti-feminist drivel, the kind of thing a strong anti-feminist would distance him or herself from. For that reason alone the movie has a kind of sloppy merit, the quality of a time capsule for that brief period when the Beaver n' Wally set seemed like the answer to all of those war protesting hippies. Yes, friends, Bloodsucking Freaks is the slum call to the romance of McCarthy's era. It might not be persuasive, it may in fact be ugly and mean-spirited, but it wants what any Nixon dust bunny wanted in 1976: a return to what is right.

My call is "go" for the movie. It's cheap on all fronts but it's gloriously (and yet hideously) honest about itself. Sure, it pretends to champion women with a brutal revenge scene with Sardu in the middle, but it's just scrounging for an audience-pleasing moment. It knows the audience will have blown their torture load long before that cage is unlocked. I admire it but do so uneasily -- we can't have too much of this or things will go all Pleasantville on us.


Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:33 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
You see man...

This is why you, and only you should be heralding a thread like this...

Fucking great.


Sat Oct 16, 2010 1:06 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
ram1312 wrote:
You see man...

This is why you, and only you should be heralding a thread like this...

Fucking great.


Thanks! Really: thank you! I was really, really happy with that last one. Totally extemporaneous and it still turned out exactly the way I wanted.


Sat Oct 16, 2010 1:10 am
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
BUMP not just out of pathetic hubris but to remind the e-family and any newcomers that I'm still taking suggestions.

Quote:
00 - Addio zio Tom (1971)
01 - Beware: Children at Play (1989)
02 - The Girl Next Door (2007)
03 - Cannibal Ferox (1981)
04 - Thriller: A Cruel Picture
05 - Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)
06 - Blaxploitation Triple Threat: Coffy (1973), Foxy Brown (1974) and Black Caesar (1973)
07 - Street Trash (1987)
08 - ?
09 - ?
10 - ?
11 - ?
12 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)


Four (REALLY THREE) slots are open for drilling. Next up is the easy-as-pie write-up of Beware: Children at Play (more exploitative than I thought it'd be) and after that is the dreaded Addio zio Tom. (Quick spoiler alert: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

EDIT: changed to 3 openings as Ilsa: She Wolfof the SS wasn't added earlier.


Sun Oct 17, 2010 10:23 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Might I suggest you review a women-in-prison film like say Reform School Girls?


Sun Oct 17, 2010 10:56 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Vexer wrote:
Might I suggest you review a women-in-prison film like say Reform School Girls?


I love it! And since there are so many women-in-prison films it's best to knock out the thread's only tetralogy with a weekend of two double-features. The titles will be as follows:

- The Big Doll House (1971)
- Caged Heat (1974)
- Barbed Wire Dolls (1975)
- Reform School Girls (1986 -- a good closer as it's apparently equal homage and parody)

I'm also like to add a few Faces of Death-like "documentaries" and will take any titles as worthy prospects.


Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:09 pm
Post Re: The 'Blood-Soaked, Limbs Hacked Exploitation Cinema' Thread
Patrick wrote:
keep looking if you want something more than an ultra-violent home invasion movie.


Indeed, keep looking


Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:45 pm
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