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Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion 
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Awkward Beard Man wrote:
Mark III wrote:
moviemkr7 wrote:
Actually, Dolphins have sex for pleasure too. They are the only animal other than humans to do so.


I love Internet Expertise and I love guesses at how animal minds work.


Well I can only speak from personal experience, but all the dolphins I've screwed seemed to enjoy themselves.


LOL!

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Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:59 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Awkward Beard Man wrote:
Well I can only speak from personal experience, but all the dolphins I've screwed seemed to enjoy themselves.

I'm calling BS.

Every dolphin I've ever known was a top.


Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:14 am
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:32 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
John DiFool wrote:
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


THANK YOU!


Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:09 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
John DiFool wrote:
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


Starship Troopers was a ridiculous movie, but I thought the cinematography won some awards, actually, and was somewhat impressive. Whatever
Quote:
pre-modern tactics and strategies
means, i have no idea, but the satire is intact... though you are right, it was very heavy handed. Then again, so is fascism!


Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:35 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
John DiFool wrote:
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


This.

Also, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I don't think I need to say anything else about it.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:37 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Spiderman 3 is one film I truly hate.

None of the scenes seem like they are connected. I've never seen something so badly put together. I can only assume the Director and Editors were smoking copious amounts of crack when they made this shambles.

Fucking appalling film.

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Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:38 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
I also think last year's remake of Straw Dogs is worth a mention here.

What was the point of remaking a film only to make it...well...more stupid really?

The original seemed to be a fairly serious film about some poignant issues, but has basically been systematically dumbed down (and probably misunderstood to boot) by last year's pathetic and pointless re-spin. And some of the lines uttered in this film......sheeesh!

JJosh -

Quote:
'Dune' (Lynch, 1984)
The worms... are... the spice... the spice.. is. the worms.


I'm glad someone mentioned Dune. I don't care if it makes me some kind of movie philistine, this has to be one of the crappiest films I've ever seen.

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Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:15 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
darthyoshi wrote:
John DiFool wrote:
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


This.

Also, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I don't think I need to say anything else about it.


Seriously. Screw that movie.

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Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:11 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
John DiFool wrote:
Starship Troopers. Yeah I (finally) get that it is supposed to be satire. If that was indeed the intention, it is the most ham-handed attempt at such that I have ever seen. The "satire' (as such) is undercut at every turn by the pathetic cinemagraphic choices made by the director and the appallingly hopeless pre-modern tactics and strategies depicted. To pull off a good satire, suspension of disbelief must be maintained from the very first frame, and here suspension of disbelief is blown completely out of the water right from the start by the film's ridiculous implausibilities.


At first glance, "ST" is a terrible movie. The acting could charitably be called lacking and the film looks like a direct-to-dvd flick with a budget. But don't think for a second that this wasn't Paul Verhoeven's intention. He meant to create a cheesefest, and it works on that level. Taken as a deliciously bad B-movie, it's a lot of fun.

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Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:24 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Ken wrote:
Awkward Beard Man wrote:
Well I can only speak from personal experience, but all the dolphins I've screwed seemed to enjoy themselves.

I'm calling BS.

Every dolphin I've ever known was a top.


I did find one that liked it in her blowhole (at least I think it was a she). But a BJ from a dolphin hurts like a bitch.

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Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:25 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
moviemkr7 wrote:
Ken wrote:
Awkward Beard Man wrote:
Well I can only speak from personal experience, but all the dolphins I've screwed seemed to enjoy themselves.

I'm calling BS.

Every dolphin I've ever known was a top.


I did find one that liked it in her blowhole (at least I think it was a she). But a BJ from a dolphin hurts like a bitch.


That's because you have to romance them first you manhandling son of a bitch.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:05 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?

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Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:25 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Well, you're probably not scoring any points by calling the object of your desires a "fish." All species speak the language of love. If that doesn't work, just use the blowhole.


Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:27 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
moviemkr7 wrote:
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?


Generally I get a bottle of fish-oil. I start to slowly rub it into her tail fin, sensuously running my finger around the edges of the Flukes. Next I begin gliding my hands up the back, applying a small amount of pressure to relieve any tension. Then I make my way up to the dorsal fin. At this stage you can usually tell (through subtle body language) if she's into it or not. I'd recommend cupping the dorsal with both your hands and gently massaging it, and perhaps lightly nibbling on it. If you've got some extra fish oil, rub some over your stomach and glide your body up and down her back, accompanied with subtle pelvic thrusts. At this stage you should be hearing some sensuous squeaks of ecstasy. It's almost time, start rimming her blow-hole with your finger (or your tongue if you're into that - trust me it'll drive her wild). Now she's yours. Go to town son, but beware that this shit can get you 5-10 years in some states. But as we all know, it was totally worth it!


Last edited by Awkward Beard Man on Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:14 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Awkward Beard Man wrote:
moviemkr7 wrote:
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?


Generally I get a bottle of fish-oil. I start to slowly rub it into her tail fin, sensuously running my finger around the edges of the Flukes. Next I begin gliding my hands up the back, applying a small amount of pressure to relieve any tension. Then I make my way up to the dorsal fin. At this stage you can usually tell (through subtle body language) if she's into it or not. I'd recommend cupping the dorsal with both your hands and gently massaging it, and perhaps lightly nibbling on it. If you've got some extra fish oil, rub some over your stomach and glide your body up and down her back, accompanied with subtle pelvic thrusts. At this stage you should be hearing some sensuous squeaks of ecstasy. It's almost time, start rimming her blow-hole with your finger (or your tongue if you're into that - trust me it'll driver her wild). Now she's yours. Go to town son, but beware that this shit can get you 5-10 years in some states. But as we all know, it was totally worth it!


I love this forum

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Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:28 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
moviemkr7 wrote:
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?


Technically, dolphins aren't fish, they're aquatic mammals.
-Jeremy


Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:12 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Starship Troopers may not be Citizen Kane, but it is a rare case of a film improving upon its source material.

Awkward Beard Man wrote:
moviemkr7 wrote:
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?


Generally I get a bottle of fish-oil. I start to slowly rub it into her tail fin, sensuously running my finger around the edges of the Flukes. Next I begin gliding my hands up the back, applying a small amount of pressure to relieve any tension. Then I make my way up to the dorsal fin. At this stage you can usually tell (through subtle body language) if she's into it or not. I'd recommend cupping the dorsal with both your hands and gently massaging it, and perhaps lightly nibbling on it. If you've got some extra fish oil, rub some over your stomach and glide your body up and down her back, accompanied with subtle pelvic thrusts. At this stage you should be hearing some sensuous squeaks of ecstasy. It's almost time, start rimming her blow-hole with your finger (or your tongue if you're into that - trust me it'll drive her wild). Now she's yours. Go to town son, but beware that this shit can get you 5-10 years in some states. But as we all know, it was totally worth it!


That's hot, I'm taking notes.


Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:52 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
ed_metal_head wrote:
Starship Troopers may not be Citizen Kane, but it is a rare case of a film improving upon its source material.

Awkward Beard Man wrote:
moviemkr7 wrote:
How do you woo a rubbery fish with flippers if it can't talk?


Generally I get a bottle of fish-oil. I start to slowly rub it into her tail fin, sensuously running my finger around the edges of the Flukes. Next I begin gliding my hands up the back, applying a small amount of pressure to relieve any tension. Then I make my way up to the dorsal fin. At this stage you can usually tell (through subtle body language) if she's into it or not. I'd recommend cupping the dorsal with both your hands and gently massaging it, and perhaps lightly nibbling on it. If you've got some extra fish oil, rub some over your stomach and glide your body up and down her back, accompanied with subtle pelvic thrusts. At this stage you should be hearing some sensuous squeaks of ecstasy. It's almost time, start rimming her blow-hole with your finger (or your tongue if you're into that - trust me it'll drive her wild). Now she's yours. Go to town son, but beware that this shit can get you 5-10 years in some states. But as we all know, it was totally worth it!


That's hot, I'm taking notes.


JB has always said that his site is PG-13 ish. But I think it just turned into an R! :lol: :lol: :lol:

AWB speaks with so much detail that I think it's safe to assume that he's actually done this before. Maybe you should check out the documentary Zoo.

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Mon Sep 03, 2012 10:20 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
I'm going to hate the film adaptation of your dolphin misadventures cause you probably all be played by Jack Black at the same....and with farts.


Tue Sep 04, 2012 6:51 am
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