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Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion 
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Evenflow8112 wrote:
Dancing with myse-elf.


I truly hate all of these upcoming movies with a flaming passion. Especially 'The Green Mile'. Fuck that stupid, stupid movie.


My 10 Least Favorite Films

by Phil Spires on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 1:27am


Hello, ladies and gentleman. Welcome to another note from moi. Today, I will be taking the time to post a list of the top ten least favorite - mind you, not worst - films I have ever seen. These are films that tickle the wrong part of me and make me actively dislike them. There is no objectivity here; just spite. You may even enjoy one or two of the films herein. Be assured, however; I did not. And I won't. Ever. Be sure to inform any and all (inevitable) negative comments about my list with some kind of intelligence, though. It would be appreciated.


- SOME SPOILERS, BUT I THINK RUINING THESE FILMS FOR YOU WOULD COUNT AS A FAVOR, SO, GO ON -

10. Natural Born Killers (1994) - Oliver Stone, talented as he may be, does not have the ability to make this film any less incoherent or pretentious than it is. It's truly a chore to sit through; it not only thinks it's clever, but it thinks that it's statements regarding violence and the media's reaction to it are prophetic and insightful, when it's simply a near half-decade behind the curve (and even proves my point by including 'Ted, Just Admit It...', a 1988 song that underlines it's themes exactly).

9. The first hour of Requiem For A Dream (2000) - The powerful finale ALMOST redeems Requiem For A Dream, but the first hour is so stagnant and drags for so long that it drains the movie of it's re-watchability. The attempts at black humor are especially painful, and to be frank, the 'mob' that Jared Leto and Marlon Wayans encounter has to be the most boring and perfunctory in all of film history.

8. Running With Scissors (2006) - Black comedy, at it's most basic, has to be two things; clever, and hilarious. Unfortunately, Running With Scissors is not only not very funny, but it's critique of mental illness and the bourgeois are shallow and obvious. It is a cruel film - but there's no point in the story it's telling, and no balance, so therefore there is no reason to watch it.

7. Art School Confidential (2006) - Yes, I've never been to any art school, so I cannot criticize the film's treatment of that particular field. I also, for the record, enjoy Blade Runner despite not having lived in 2019. Terry Zwigoff made the classics Ghost World and one of my favorite comedies, Bad Santa, before making this disaster of a film, and the drop-off is frightening. The humor is very dark, but it never cuts deep enough to be revelatory, and the ugly aesthetic of the film (ironic as it may be) simply makes it's ineffective satire all the more unpleasant. Regrettable trash.

6. Let's Go To Prison (2006) - Apparently, Will Arnett cannot save a film on his own. Especially when his co-star, Dax Shepard, has the delusion that he is acting in a drama. Not only is his character entirely unsympathetic (and the film takes HIS point of view - ugh), but he plays it straight to the 'T'. It's amazing that Bob Odenkirk, after helping to make one of the greatest shows of all time, Mr. Show, can't seem to make any good motion pictures, and this is his greatest flop.

5. Napoleon Dynamite (2003) - This film is not only overrated, but has been done much better before. If you want to see a film about alienated youth, see Welcome to the Dollhouse. I'm not even writing more after this next line; this movie is an uneven mess, and Jonathan Heder doesn't know how to act.

4. 27 Dresses (2007) - I was forced by my ex-girlfriend to watch this thoroughly predictable, nauseatingly contrived film that hopelessly squanders star Katherine Heigl's capable (see 'Knocked Up') acting chops with saccharine and stale character development. Sure, it might not be THAT different from the Hollywood rom-com - but I had to see it, dammit.

3. The Green Mile (1999) - I expect flak for this, but I say this to you that disagree; how do you go about calling The Green Mile, a three hour film that takes place in one area for 80% of it's running length, features two well-written characters in a film that gives dozens of actors significant screentime, features a completely unnecessary polemic about capital punishment that runs for ten minutes of confusing sadism, and a depressing ending that serves to diminish what came before it by negating the happiness of a character we have come to care about, a good motion picture experience?. This film, high production values and moments of fleeting brilliance aside, is truly shallow and seems to bend more to Frank Darabont's schizophrenic cinematic desires than it does to the better elements of storytelling.

2. Bully (2001) - Have you seen River's Edge? Then you may skip Bully. If you haven't, then you may also skip Bully. It is hard to think of a film I've seen with less redeeming values than this 'motion picture' offers. It is not only a blatantly dull moral on teenage apathy, but it is also a confused amateur porn film with pretensions of social significance. The inherent nihilism isn't troubling; it's the director's ham fisted approach to his characters and their situation that takes a compelling idea and turns it into a completely useless cinematic spectacle of degradation. It is also a victim of SEVERELY bad casting (Nick Stahl as a bully? Really?).

1. Crash (1996) - One word: boring. I suppose David Cronenberg meant for Crash to be disturbing and perhaps even enlightening; what it ends up being is a severely uninvolving film about twisted sexual desires, which I suppose wouldn't be such an atrocity if a better film about a twisted sexual relationship (Secretary, featuring Crash's own star James Spader in a role that actually requires acting) hadn't been made. Altogether, I've never been a huge Cronenberg fan, but at his best (Dead Ringers, The Fly) he can be truly masterful and deliver devastating critiques on the human condition. Here, he is at his most self-satisfied, completely boring the audience with abstract ideas that are only explored at a surface level. Instead of being detached, the film is cold and humdrum. Instead of being sexual, it is simply gratuitous and lurid. And instead of being a worthwhile film, it is an unending bore that, if not serving as a nadir for David Cronenberg, surely is the most painful film I've ever endured - in the bad way.





Phillip.....you produced this list on the first page already.


Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:08 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Aw, give him some slack Patrick. It's hardly the first thing to be said more than once on these boards. :P

I actually like about half the films he listed. "Running with Scissors" is shallow and obvious, huh? You can say the same about many other films on which most people were far more lenient ("The Blind Side" comes to mind). I always thought maybe it was the disparity between its sort of "Royal Tenebaums"-meets-"Requiem for a Dream" tone. I since I love both of those films, I had no problem with RWS, even though it's admittedly not in the same league. :?


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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
I have to say the worst movie I've seen is Rhinestone with Sylvester Stallone. It's like someone took a camera and just filled Stallone (who pretty much just dominates the screen presence in a bad way) babbling about nonsense.


Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:16 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
White Ranger wrote:
I have to say the worst movie I've seen is Rhinestone with Sylvester Stallone. It's like someone took a camera and just filled Stallone (who pretty much just dominates the screen presence in a bad way) babbling about nonsense.

Yeah, even Stallone himself hates that film.


Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:34 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Could I be one to say that the end of The Green Mile is not only a good ending, but the right one and the only proper way the story should end?

Spoilers follow:

The way I see it, the whole theme of The Green Mile is punishment. Coffey is punished on Earth for the rape and murder of two girls, an the girls' real killer is revealed later in the film and punished in another way. There are various executions throughout the film, the last of which being Coffey's. Edgecomb, we learn at the end, is facing his own punishment for executing Coffey - that being extended or perhaps eternal life. The end fits well with the overall themes of the story, and it is proper.

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
H.I. McDonough wrote:
Aw, give him some slack Patrick. It's hardly the first thing to be said more than once on these boards. :P

I actually like about half the films he listed. "Running with Scissors" is shallow and obvious, huh? You can say the same about many other films on which most people were far more lenient ("The Blind Side" comes to mind). I always thought maybe it was the disparity between its sort of "Royal Tenebaums"-meets-"Requiem for a Dream" tone. I since I love both of those films, I had no problem with RWS, even though it's admittedly not in the same league. :?


I like several of his movies, too. One I do agree with is Art School Confidential which is truly awful, to the extent that it doesn't feel like it's made by a professional director, let alone Terry Zwigoff. Shocking considering how effectively Ghost World skewered art class.

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Sun Jun 19, 2011 3:14 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
I don't know how you compare Neapolean Dynamite to Welcome to the Dollhouse. Light comedies never compare well with dark ones. Silly....

The Green Mile is a brilliant movie. 80% of it takes place in the same place? Who cares, if its good! Completely unnecessary polemic about capital punishment? Depressing ending that serves to diminish what came before? Have you ever read a Stephen King novel? You're right... FLAK!

I liked Let's Go To Prison for what it was. Dumb abusive comedy. I know its extra-ordinarily lowbrow, but dammit, I liked it. I do tend to wonder how low James would have rated it.


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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
MrGuinness wrote:
The Green Mile is a brilliant movie. 80% of it takes place in the same place? Who cares, if its good! Completely unnecessary polemic about capital punishment? Depressing ending that serves to diminish what came before? Have you ever read a Stephen King novel? You're right... FLAK!



You do realize the movie's a parable about the life of Jesus right? You don't think that maybe the ending was kinda, I dunno, inevitable?

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
My sound and SHITE top 10 -

Little Nicky (2000) - I used to defend 90s Sandler, but this painful piece of shit made him dead in my eyes. It actually hurts to watch this film.

The Bounty Hunter (2009) - Butler and Anniston in a film so devoid of any substance (or style) it actually becomes a tragedy.

The Ugly Truth (2008) - Butler AGAIN!!! Just a nasty, spiteful, unfunny piece of shit.

Friends With Benefits (2010) - I hate the smug tastlessness of this truly terrible film.

Battlefield Earth (2000) - Too obvious yet not obvious enough. Everyone should see this film to see how bad films can still get.

Jack and Jill (2011) - Sandler yet again, this time in painfully unfunny drag humour that belongs to the darkest recesses of 70s British Television

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) - One of the worst films I've ever seen at the cinema. A tastless, tacky, unnecessary remake.

Meet the Fockers (2005) - Perhaps the worst film I've ever seen at the cinema. For the life of me I can't think why anyone in this awful film agreed to it.........oh yeah......KERCHING!!!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993) - Disgraces the legacy of the first, which was surely the greatest film ever made.....perhaps.

Freddie Got Fingered (2001) - So bad it actually makes me laugh and cry at the same time. "Tasteless" doesn't come close to describing this film.

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
NotHughGrant wrote:
Freddie Got Fingered (2001) - So bad it actually makes me laugh and cry at the same time. "Tasteless" doesn't come close to describing this film.


This was my go-to answer for worst movie ever made. Then I saw Salo.

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Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:06 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
MrGuinness wrote:
I don't know how you compare Neapolean Dynamite to Welcome to the Dollhouse. Light comedies never compare well with dark ones. Silly....

The Green Mile is a brilliant movie. 80% of it takes place in the same place? Who cares, if its good! Completely unnecessary polemic about capital punishment? Depressing ending that serves to diminish what came before? Have you ever read a Stephen King novel? You're right... FLAK!

I liked Let's Go To Prison for what it was. Dumb abusive comedy. I know its extra-ordinarily lowbrow, but dammit, I liked it. I do tend to wonder how low James would have rated it.

I enjoyed that film as well, for the most part I love lowbrow comedy, so i'm definitely consdiering checking out "The Babymakers" once it hits DVD.

I liked Meet The Fockers(and Little Fockers), Dukes of Hazzard, Friends With Benefits(again i'm mystified as to how anyone can call this film "smug" and "tasteless" those are words that better "God Bless America") Bounty Hunter, Freddie Got Fingered, and Battlefield Earth(in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way)

Jack And Jill was kind of eh for me, I laughed occasionally but it was pretty forgettable, at least I didn't feel the urge to set my self on fire like I did when watching "Your Highness" or "I Heart Huckabees"

Ugly Truth was rather mediocre, not too many laughs in that one.

I kind of agree on TMNT 3, when I was a kid I kinda liked it as it was the first TMNT film I saw, but after the seeing the other two films, it looks pretty weak by comparison.


I'm not fond of Little Nicky, but I found it much more otlerable then say, "The Waterboy" which was pretty painful.


Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:27 am
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
NotHughGrant wrote:
My sound and SHITE top 10 -

Little Nicky (2000) - I used to defend 90s Sandler, but this painful piece of shit made him dead in my eyes. It actually hurts to watch this film.

The Bounty Hunter (2009) - Butler and Anniston in a film so devoid of any substance (or style) it actually becomes a tragedy.

The Ugly Truth (2008) - Butler AGAIN!!! Just a nasty, spiteful, unfunny piece of shit.

Friends With Benefits (2010) - I hate the smug tastlessness of this truly terrible film.

Battlefield Earth (2000) - Too obvious yet not obvious enough. Everyone should see this film to see how bad films can still get.

Jack and Jill (2011) - Sandler yet again, this time in painfully unfunny drag humour that belongs to the darkest recesses of 70s British Television

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) - One of the worst films I've ever seen at the cinema. A tastless, tacky, unnecessary remake.

Meet the Fockers (2005) - Perhaps the worst film I've ever seen at the cinema. For the life of me I can't think why anyone in this awful film agreed to it.........oh yeah......KERCHING!!!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993) - Disgraces the legacy of the first, which was surely the greatest film ever made.....perhaps.

Freddie Got Fingered (2001) - So bad it actually makes me laugh and cry at the same time. "Tasteless" doesn't come close to describing this film.



Im so proud I havent wasted a minute seeing any of these :) I am not so proud that Vexer also liked Lets Go To Prison, however...


Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:03 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Huh, I thought I had my list on here. I know its around somewhere.

'Saw VII' (Greutert, 2010)
I'd rather take part in one of these traps than watch this movie ever, ever again.

'10,000 B.C.' (Emmerich, 2008)
My (ex)friend put it best when she said the best part of seeing this movie was returning home to find her barbecue stolen.

'Heavy Metal' (V.A., 1981)
Despise.

'The Untold Story' (Yau, 1993)
Troll 2 was a better made and more fulfilling film.

'House of 1000 Corpses' (Zombie, 2002)
This film gave me cancer.

'Funny Games' (Haneke, 1997/2007)
This film shoved it in my face and told me I was wrong for having cancer.

'Dune' (Lynch, 1984)
The worms... are... the spice... the spice.. is. the worms.

'The Ugly Truth' (Luketic, 2009)
The ugliest thing about this movie was the screenplay.

'Ultraviolet' (Wimmer, 2006)
Actually the ugliest thing about the last movie was this one. Wrap your head around that one for a minute.

'The Mangler' (Hooper, 1995)
Freddy Kruger sics a possessed laundry machine after Buffalo Bill and a paranormal scientist with the aid of a one-legged whore. I'm pretty sure there was a bitch with one leg. There were antacids with deadly nightshade... which apparently... brought the laundry machine... to demon possessed life........ all this still makes more sense than the movie.

'I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry' (Dugan, 2007)
Tried to do to gay marriage what Twilight did to feminism.

'Jaws: The Revenge' (Sergent, 1987)
Would have been more entertaining with the line, "So hey, how about we head back to the hotel and I eat your pussy?'

'Sucker Punch' (Snyder, 2011)
If I rant about nothing else in this movie (and even if it was any good), I would still despise it for having Vanessa Hudgens in a role where she was shot in the head... AND SNYDER SHOWED US NOTHING!!!!!!


Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:05 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Glad i'm not the only one who hates Funny Games.

All the Saw sequels sucked, so it's hard to say which one is the worst.

Heavy Metal didn't do much for me, but I didn't hate it, Heavy Metal 2000 was a lot better though.

I've never even heard of Untold Story, but it sounds interesting.

Dune was OK, i'd gladly watch it over some of Lynch's other films, like Inland Empire.

1000 Corpses was really mediocre and unremarkable, Devil's Rejects was better in every way.

Ultraviolet I found pretty entertaining, though I heard there was a lot of material cut from the film by studio execs.

I love Hooper, but Mangler was one of the worst horror films i've ever seen(though the DTV sequels were decent enough)

I didn't mind Chuck And Larry, I can see why some would find it off-putting, but i'll gladly take it over Sandler's earlier material like Going Overboard.

Jaws Revenge I didn't mind when I first saw it several years ago, the 2nd time it became apparent how far behind it was compared to the other films, even part 3.

Sucker Punch had a cool concept that just wasn't executed all that well.


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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
JJoshay wrote:


'Funny Games' (Haneke, 1997/2007)
This film shoved it in my face and told me I was wrong for having cancer.


There are two types of people in the world: people who realize that Funny Games is brilliant, and people who are wrong

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Sure it's unfair to hit upon a movie I couldn't make it half an hour into, but then there's 1930's film Millie which I tried to watch once for a Pre-Code Forum

Quote:
I made it 15-20 minutes into Millie. It starts out with some friends talking about Millie (Helen Twelvetrees), who is considered a catch. She's in a ritzy car with her boyfriend, who asks her to elope with him and she says yes.

Next scene: Wedding night in the hotel. Millie is shocked to see the room which is a honeymoon suite, starts crying, the husband asks her to get ready for bed, she goes behind a curtain and cries while she disrobes, he finally calls her mother, calls Millie to the phone, Millie whines because she's undressed, he hands her a robe, and she goes to the phone and sobs to her mother (who is happy). At this point, mind you, the husband has not done a thing to upset her.

We then have a title card, then we have Millie and her baby. Millie is whining to her husband, who is going somewhere. She whines, cries, pleads, for the next ten minutes or so, asking why isn't it fun anymore? I'm actually wondering how the child was conceived.

By this point, I had tooth marks all over the furniture and my hard drive was six inches deep in teardrops, and she hadn't even found out her husband was a philanderer and divorced him, which promised another ten or fifteen minutes of wailing and scenery-chewing and I switched to Just Imagine. I know the torture would probably end eventually, but still...


We also watched The Story of Temple Drake which is about the sleaziest pre-Code I saw, based on the Faulkner novel Sanctuary in which a bored girl goes off for a ride with a drunken Romeo, is kidnapped by hillbillies in the Deliverance mode, is raped by the only one who appears halfway normal and is traumatized. [It's worse than it sounds, because she is raped with a corn cob, which isn't shown in the movie.] Very hard to find and not worth the effort. I had to scrub my brain afterward.

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Last edited by Syd Henderson on Tue Aug 28, 2012 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.



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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Sucker Punch was an amazing movie -- I'd never seen any film work so hard to be so below-average. It's the hardest-earned 4/10 I've seen, this gigantic and terrible chimera that has so many bad ideas colliding and bouncing around that I'm shocked it wasn't filmed in 3D with SennSurround to fill out the disturbing look we get into Zachary Snyder's masturbation fantasies. An epic movie that's so bad it becomes kind of a marvel. And while I can appreciate why someone (sexist, dull-witted and likely socially maladjusted) would enjoy it, I can't let the movie just be denied: it's a sign that our culture has given birth to Generation Doom. Strictly for those who only know pop culture and burst into flames whn they touch a Jane Austen novel.

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Ghost World: I despised this movie for one reason: Enid. I hated her, I loathed her. I hated her so much that I wished that Jigsaw would snatch her up and do all sorts of horrible things to her. Although she'd probably roll her eyes because it was "mainstream."

Now, some might argue that Thora Birch gives a good performance. So she does. And others argue that you're not supposed to like her. Fair enough. But there's a big difference between an unlikable character who is interesting (any Hollywood bad guy, such as Gary Oldman in "Air Force One," and a character who is so annoying and bitchy that you wish ten minutes into the movie that she'd run into Freddy Krueger. Enid is the latter. I got nothing from spending 90 minutes with her except anger that I wasted my time and the strong desire to beat the shit out of her. Never have I ever seen a character so infuriating.

The Royal Tenenbaums and Moonrise Kingdom: I am convinced that, despite the size of the egos of James Cameron, Kevin Costner and Harvey Weinstein, there is no one in Hollywood who is more in love with himself than Wes Anderson. Both of his movies are so cutesy and self important that I wanted to barf. Every second is like "ooh, look how indie I am! Look how I'm rejecting mainstream sensibilities!" Guess what, Wes? NO ONE CARES! You're no better than Len Wiseman, a hack whose only talent is to make the movie look good. But while his movies actually have stuff going on, your don't have any change in perspective and look like one of those pretentious arthouse movies that give foreign films a bad name.

Belly: In all honesty, I should have given this movie zero stars. It makes no sense, and there's so much slang that a translator is needed. Hype Williams may be a pioneer of directing rap music videos, but there's a big difference between that and making a feature film. Sadly, he doesn't get that, and we end up with just that: a rap music video that refuses to end and what passes for a plot.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: I know, I know, this movie is supposed to be a campfest. It's supposed to be hilariously bad and inept in every way possible. But there's a problem: it's not funny. It's just maddeningly boring and painfully awful. I've seen campy movies that I've enjoyed ("Tale of the Mummy" and "The Mangler" are two examples). But this disaster is just terrible.

Soul Plane: I'll admit, the trailer was amusing. The movie, however, is anything but. Racist, homophobic, unfunny. Kevin Hart is irritating to no end, and the jokes fall flatter than Silly Putty if you dropped it off the Empire State Building. The sad thing is, director Jesse Terrero has directed a movie with Robert DeNiro (direct to DVD, but still).

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
moviemkr7 wrote:
Ghost World: I despised this movie for one reason: Enid. I hated her, I loathed her. I hated her so much that I wished that Jigsaw would snatch her up and do all sorts of horrible things to her. Although she'd probably roll her eyes because it was "mainstream."

Now, some might argue that Thora Birch gives a good performance. So she does. And others argue that you're not supposed to like her. Fair enough. But there's a big difference between an unlikable character who is interesting (any Hollywood bad guy, such as Gary Oldman in "Air Force One," and a character who is so annoying and bitchy that you wish ten minutes into the movie that she'd run into Freddy Krueger. Enid is the latter. I got nothing from spending 90 minutes with her except anger that I wasted my time and the strong desire to beat the shit out of her. Never have I ever seen a character so infuriating.


This has come up before and, once again, I'll casually mention that the movie isn't Enid's strongest supporter. You're free to hate the movie but disliking a movie's anti-hero... that's like complaining that A Clockwork Orange is awful because Alex is morally reprehensible.

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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
moviemkr7 wrote:
.

The Royal Tenenbaums and Moonrise Kingdom: I am convinced that, despite the size of the egos of James Cameron, Kevin Costner and Harvey Weinstein, there is no one in Hollywood who is more in love with himself than Wes Anderson. Both of his movies are so cutesy and self important that I wanted to barf. Every second is like "ooh, look how indie I am! Look how I'm rejecting mainstream sensibilities!" Guess what, Wes? NO ONE CARES! You're no better than Len Wiseman, a hack whose only talent is to make the movie look good. But while his movies actually have stuff going on, your don't have any change in perspective and look like one of those pretentious arthouse movies that give foreign films a bad name.


How does Wes Anderson give foreign films a bad name? Also, Moonrise Kingdom has a 94% on Rottentomatoes and has been making good money all summer. So I'd say that someone cares...

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