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Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion 
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
ed_metal_head wrote:
I mentioned this before...but avoid Phantoms. Contrary to what Jay would have you believe, Ben Affleck is certainly not the bomb in this movie, yoah.


It's a bad film, but it's more guilty for being boring. YEAH!!!! ;)


Thu Nov 26, 2009 6:55 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
But he had such a great cowboy hat on. That's about the only thing I remember from it. And Peter O' Toole waxing peotic about creatures in the sink.


Sat Nov 28, 2009 3:53 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
It took awhile, but unfortunately Jungle Fever just sprang back from my repressed memories. I may have seen worse movies, but it is the only one I hate.


Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:45 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Alright, so I'm the only one who thinks Affleck wasn't the bomb in Phantoms yoah. I wonder if I can find someone to agree with me over Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. I was ambivalent about the first film, but absolutely hated the sequel. Maybe it has something to do with the overlong title.


Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:28 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
I'm so glad that someone in this thread mentioned SHOOT 'EM UP, because I almost forgot how much I hated it. Not because my hate is muted, but because I have almost entirely expunged that movie from my conscious short-to-midterm memory. Thanks, thread. Thanks a bundle!

Speaking as someone who admires Lars von Trier's ANTICHRIST and sort of admires Rob Zombie's films, I have to say that I found SHOOT 'EM UP to be a depraved, disgusting, unfunny mess of a movie. I'd break bread or crack a beer with Zombie before I'd ever do so with writer/director, Michael Davis. That man just isn't right.

--

I sort of enjoy MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION specifically because of how awful it is. The first MORTAL KOMBAT is also pretty bad and certainly a lot worse than most people remember it to be, but it was borderline functional. Now, it's just a complete bore. I tried to watch it recently and even with the aid of strong drink, I couldn't remotely muster any pleasure from the experience.

ANNIHILATION, on the other hand, gets funnier every time I watch it. Back when it was first released on laserdisc (*sigh*), I did a "fan edit" of it just to see if I could make it wackier and the dialogue even more looney. Given what I had to work with, the project pretty much assembled itself. Forget the lousy effects and asinine fight choreography (to the extent that anything in that film was actually choreographed as opposed to being assembled from awkwardly ill-fitting establishing shots). There are so many non-sequitur lines of dialogue and shots of the cast trading blank yet strangely loaded glances that you could have a ball with this thing. Someone should put together a MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION editing kit online. You'd never run out of variations. Have a ranting Christian Bale dubbed over Shao Khan's dialogue. It would certainly result in better acting than whatever Brian B-Movie-Guy thought he was doing.

--

Oh, and I also hate SIGNS. I don't mind being preached to (well, I mind a little), but at least make sure you plot holds water (no pun intended).

Weirdly, I don't hate THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST. On one hand, it's such a handsomely made labor of love that I give it credit as an artistic achievement. On the other, it's so batshit insane, that it's fascinating to watch. Someone should do a fan edit mash-up of THE PASSION and ANTICHRIST (or ANTICHRIST and THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST . . . or some combination of the three) to see what unwatchable wackiness may ensue.


Last edited by Tom Kessler on Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:30 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Well I loved shoot Em Up for being so damn relentless that it never gave me a chance to think about how ridiculous it was, as for Passion Of tHe christ, I don't hate it because I didn't see it and have so desire to ever do so, but my mom certainly hates it with a passion, as she felt that it missed the whole point of the Bible since
[Reveal] Spoiler:
Jesus was never resurrected in the film
and it clashed with her Christian Scientist beliefs, i was actually once in religious class which my dad forced me to join and my teacher was encouraging all of us to ocnvince our parents to take us to Passion Of the Christ, as sh efelt it was an imporant movie, once I told my mom that she actually forbid me fom going to see it! I didn't care though since I had no desire to see the movie anyways and I still don't now. And I also hated Signs and every other M Night film except The Happening(which at least had extreme violence to fall back on despite being inep in most other areas) but Signs was the worst mainly because the characters are beyond stupid and are never remotely believable in any way, mostly becuase they're dialogue is so awful, and of course there's the stupid plot twist where
[Reveal] Spoiler:
The aliens turn out to be alergic to water! Which definitely confirms that there is no intelligent life out there if aliens allergic to water are stupid enough to land on planet that's 75% water! :roll:
That's easily one of the 10 dumbest twist endings of all time, hell Battlefield Earth was better then Signs!


Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:05 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Vexer wrote:
Well I loved shoot Em Up for being so damn relentless that it never gave me a chance to think about how ridiculous it was

I thought it gave plenty of chances to think about how ridiculous it was--basically every single stunt does that. And that's why I love the movie. It is a parody of an action film--which makes it, in a way, almost a pure action film. It drops all pretense and tries to uncover the essence of action.
The action/stunts are some of the most clever I've seen on film, including Jackie Chan movies. And it is first and foremost a comedy. I'm not sure why it would inspire hate in anyone. It seems fun and likable even if you don't love it like I do.


Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:20 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Trevor wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Well I loved shoot Em Up for being so damn relentless that it never gave me a chance to think about how ridiculous it was

I thought it gave plenty of chances to think about how ridiculous it was--basically every single stunt does that. And that's why I love the movie. It is a parody of an action film--which makes it, in a way, almost a pure action film. It drops all pretense and tries to uncover the essence of action.
The action/stunts are some of the most clever I've seen on film, including Jackie Chan movies. And it is first and foremost a comedy. I'm not sure why it would inspire hate in anyone. It seems fun and likable even if you don't love it like I do.



One of the reasons I name checked ANTICHRIST before dumping on SHOOT 'EM UP was to compare one movie that's been accused of a misogyny and holding it up against a movie that felt truly misogynistic to me. There's this weird, aggressive hatred towards women in SHOOT 'EM UP that was impossible for me to ignore. Hell, I think the first spoken line in the movie is something like, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch!" and then it just goes downhill from there.

The bitch in question is the MacGuffin baby's mother. She only exists in this movie to be terrorized, give birth and be killed. Perhaps I'm reading too deeply into this? Consider what's done with her body in subsequent scenes. Paul Giamatti, who embodies this film's sweaty, icky soul actually molests the body in the back seat of his car. Thank goodness she's dead or she'd probably be a real pain about that, eh? Eh? And this is all BEFORE Monica Bellucci is introduced as a lactating prostitute.

This is either preceded by or quickly followed by (hard to remember since it's been a while since I've seen this and I hope to never see it again) a scene in which Giamatti makes a joke about why a gun is better than a wife. The effect of this movie is like sitting next to a sweaty pervert on a bus who never stops telling you awful, revealing jokes.

The writer/director's previous film was a horror comedy called MONSTER MAN which I blindly bought on something like a dare. As self-consciously disgusting and silly as that was, I was actually entertained by it and didn't entirely hate myself for buying it. Michael Davis clearly wants to hard sell his quirkiness so I wasn't surprised by Clive Owen's oh-so-postmodern chomping (and over reliance on) a carrot as a prop. Had the movie just been a combination of that type of "humor" and over-the-top gunplay, I might've found it to be a tolerably bad comedy (although "gun porn" is seeming more and more odious to me with age), but the attitude towards women just caused my hackles to raise.

It's possible that Davis really knew what he was doing (although the lack of any genuinely exciting or funny shoot-outs in his shoot-'em-up movie makes me doubt that) and that he was deliberately trying to make a movie that was as outrageous and as tasteless as he could possibly make it with the anarchic hopes of shocking or offending.

But I say that the film's attitude towards women reveals a genuine sense of aggression and meanness. Michael Davis may think he's just making a joke with SHOOT 'EM UP, but I suspect that he's unintentionally revealing entirely too much about himself and his relationship with women.

--

EDIT: I suppose I should add that I don't intend this to be a condemnation of anyone who enjoys SHOOT 'EM UP. If it entertains you or you can get past the ick factor then more power to you. But seeing as this is a thread about movies that we "hate, hate, hate," I'd be remiss not to mention this movie.

We all have our *no star* or "F" movies and this one is right down near the bottom for me in ranking the worst films I've ever seen.


Last edited by Tom Kessler on Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:58 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
No offense man, but I think you took that movie WAAAAAYYYYYYY too seriously, i'm sure Davies dosen't have any real hard feelings towards women, your not supposed to take those scens literally when they're in a movie as ridiculous as this one, I mean when I saw the film I NEVER once noticed any of those things you mentioned and even thinking about them now, they seem more silly then misogynistic really. Now if scenes like that were in a deadly serious film then I could understand your position, films like Obsessed(which is basically a third-rate Fatal Attraction rip-off) are much more misogynistic then this one, in that film the main character's wife unfairly accuses him of cheating on her with the women who's stalking him and kicks him out of the house with little proof, and her character was intended to be sympathetic, but I didn't feel one ounce of sympathy for her, and I certainly wasn't cheering for her when she was betaing up the stalker at the end. She was so crazy that I hard time believing anyone could stand stand being married to her for any length, if I were her husband I personally would've gone with the stalker! There's plenty of other examples but that's the only one I can think of right now, bottom line is-you shouldn't really take ANYTHING in a extremely over-the-top film like Shoot Em Up seriously.


Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:41 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Vexer wrote:
No offense man, but I think you took that movie WAAAAAYYYYYYY too seriously, i'm sure Davies dosen't have any real hard feelings towards women, your not supposed to take those scens literally when they're in a movie as ridiculous as this one, I mean when I saw the film I NEVER once noticed any of those things you mentioned and even thinking about them now, they seem more silly then misogynistic really. Now if scenes like that were in a deadly serious film then I could understand your position, films like Obsessed(which is basically a third-rate Fatal Attraction rip-off) are much more misogynistic then this one, in that film the main character's wife unfairly accuses him of cheating on her with the women who's stalking him and kicks him out of the house with little proof, and her character was intended to be sympathetic, but I didn't feel one ounce of sympathy for her, and I certainly wasn't cheering for her when she was betaing up the stalker at the end. She was so crazy that I hard time believing anyone could stand stand being married to her for any length, if I were her husband I personally would've gone with the stalker! There's plenty of other examples but that's the only one I can think of right now, bottom line is-you shouldn't really take ANYTHING in a extremely over-the-top film like Shoot Em Up seriously.


I never thought I'd say this but I agree with Vexer on something!


Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:53 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Vexer wrote:
Well I loved shoot Em Up for being so damn relentless that it never gave me a chance to think about how ridiculous it was, as for Passion Of tHe christ, I don't hate it because I didn't see it and have so desire to ever do so, but my mom certainly hates it with a passion, as she felt that it missed the whole point of the Bible since
[Reveal] Spoiler:
Jesus was never resurrected in the film


Your mom must have not have been paying any attention since

[Reveal] Spoiler:
Jesus was revived, he was clearly getting up and walking away in the very last shot



And while I don't hate The Passion, I was bored except for all the times Jesus was getting tortured which means I'm going to hell....I hope to see some of you there.


Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:58 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Well as a dirty Jew who denies Christ's divinity I booked my ticket to Hell a long time ago, so yeah, we can watch movies together

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Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:00 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Patrick wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Well I loved shoot Em Up for being so damn relentless that it never gave me a chance to think about how ridiculous it was, as for Passion Of tHe christ, I don't hate it because I didn't see it and have so desire to ever do so, but my mom certainly hates it with a passion, as she felt that it missed the whole point of the Bible since
[Reveal] Spoiler:
Jesus was never resurrected in the film


Your mom must have not have been paying any attention since

[Reveal] Spoiler:
Jesus was revived, he was clearly getting up and walking away in the very last shot



And while I don't hate The Passion, I was bored except for all the times Jesus was getting tortured which means I'm going to hell....I hope to see some of you there.
Well that wasn't exactly what she said, it was years ago so I forgot exactly what she said, but basically the film clashed with her beliefs in several ways, so i can't blame for hating it, it certainly looks like garbage to me as does Apocalypto. I REALLY hope Gibson NEVER makes another religious epic film for as long as he lives.


Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:14 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Vexer wrote:
Well that wasn't exactly what she said, it was years ago so I forgot exactly what she said, but basically the film clashed with her beliefs in several ways, so i can't blame for hating it, it certainly looks like garbage to me as does Apocalypto. I REALLY hope Gibson NEVER makes another religious epic film for as long as he lives.


Vex if you like action movies you should like Apocalypto. I personally love it, exhilarating chase and fight scenes meshed into an important transition in world history. It's pretty bloody and gory, with a good amount of heads being lopped up, and with one of the most ridiculous "giving birth" scenes in the history of cinema. While I despise Mel Gibson as a person, the man has made and starred in some pretty great movies.

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Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:40 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
DunkinDan89 wrote:
While I despise Mel Gibson as a person, the man has made and starred in some pretty great movies.


Hmmm I could see the first part of that sentence, but neither The Man without a Face, Braveheart, The Passion of the Christ or Apocalypto really screams "great movie" to me. Apocalypto could have been a good action film, but the first half is so overlong and the ludicrous subplot with Jaguar Paw's wife in the giant hole really detracted from the film. It was still better than the Passion, but not a great film.

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Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:11 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
JamesKunz wrote:
DunkinDan89 wrote:
While I despise Mel Gibson as a person, the man has made and starred in some pretty great movies.


Hmmm I could see the first part of that sentence, but neither The Man without a Face, Braveheart, The Passion of the Christ or Apocalypto really screams "great movie" to me. Apocalypto could have been a good action film, but the first half is so overlong and the ludicrous subplot with Jaguar Paw's wife in the giant hole really detracted from the film. It was still better than the Passion, but not a great film.


I agree with you on The Man Without a Face but I love the rest of Mel Gibson's efforts as a director. Very high-quality first class stuff here, with The Passion being the only film to have caused tears to well up in my eyes. And both Braveheart and Apocalypto are action epics of the highest order in my opinion. I'll freely admit that he's does some pretty unconscionable and arguably unforgivable stuff in his personal life but to me, his considerable skills as a director are not in question.


Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:57 pm
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Oh I agree that he has skill as a director, I just don't think he's made any great films. Kinda like Sean Penn

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Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:22 am
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Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Yeah, and I hope Gibson tries directing something other than a historical epic for a change.


Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:12 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
For me, I think The Passion is in the same boat as United 93. There are some movies that work because they're in touch with the baggage that the audience brings into the theater, and there are some movies that work because they knowingly exploit that baggage. It's the latter category that these films fall into.


Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:26 pm
Post Re: Movies you *hate* with a fiery, burning passion
Tom Kessler wrote:
Trevor wrote:
I thought it gave plenty of chances to think about how ridiculous it was--basically every single stunt does that. And that's why I love the movie. It is a parody of an action film--which makes it, in a way, almost a pure action film. It drops all pretense and tries to uncover the essence of action.
The action/stunts are some of the most clever I've seen on film, including Jackie Chan movies. And it is first and foremost a comedy. I'm not sure why it would inspire hate in anyone. It seems fun and likable even if you don't love it like I do.



One of the reasons I name checked ANTICHRIST before dumping on SHOOT 'EM UP was to compare one movie that's been accused of a misogyny and holding it up against a movie that felt truly misogynistic to me. There's this weird, aggressive hatred towards women in SHOOT 'EM UP that was impossible for me to ignore. Hell, I think the first spoken line in the movie is something like, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch!" and then it just goes downhill from there.

The bitch in question is the MacGuffin baby's mother. She only exists in this movie to be terrorized, give birth and be killed. Perhaps I'm reading too deeply into this? Consider what's done with her body in subsequent scenes. Paul Giamatti, who embodies this film's sweaty, icky soul actually molests the body in the back seat of his car. Thank goodness she's dead or she'd probably be a real pain about that, eh? Eh? And this is all BEFORE Monica Bellucci is introduced as a lactating prostitute.

This is either preceded by or quickly followed by (hard to remember since it's been a while since I've seen this and I hope to never see it again) a scene in which Giamatti makes a joke about why a gun is better than a wife. The effect of this movie is like sitting next to a sweaty pervert on a bus who never stops telling you awful, revealing jokes.

The writer/director's previous film was a horror comedy called MONSTER MAN which I blindly bought on something like a dare. As self-consciously disgusting and silly as that was, I was actually entertained by it and didn't entirely hate myself for buying it. Michael Davis clearly wants to hard sell his quirkiness so I wasn't surprised by Clive Owen's oh-so-postmodern chomping (and over reliance on) a carrot as a prop. Had the movie just been a combination of that type of "humor" and over-the-top gunplay, I might've found it to be a tolerably bad comedy (although "gun porn" is seeming more and more odious to me with age), but the attitude towards women just caused my hackles to raise.

It's possible that Davis really knew what he was doing (although the lack of any genuinely exciting or funny shoot-outs in his shoot-'em-up movie makes me doubt that) and that he was deliberately trying to make a movie that was as outrageous and as tasteless as he could possibly make it with the anarchic hopes of shocking or offending.

But I say that the film's attitude towards women reveals a genuine sense of aggression and meanness. Michael Davis may think he's just making a joke with SHOOT 'EM UP, but I suspect that he's unintentionally revealing entirely too much about himself and his relationship with women.

--

EDIT: I suppose I should add that I don't intend this to be a condemnation of anyone who enjoys SHOOT 'EM UP. If it entertains you or you can get past the ick factor then more power to you. But seeing as this is a thread about movies that we "hate, hate, hate," I'd be remiss not to mention this movie.

We all have our *no star* or "F" movies and this one is right down near the bottom for me in ranking the worst films I've ever seen.


I'm more inclined to agree with Trevor and say you're reading a bit too much into it. To me, the film was a comedy first, action second. Most of the violence was so ridiculous and stylized that it was impossible for me to take the film seriously (which I believe is the reaction Mr. Davis was aiming for). I hadn't thought about the misogyny, but you're probably right. It's just that there was so much murder that I hadn't given any thought to how the characters treat women.

Nice post though. You should contribute more often.


Sat Dec 05, 2009 5:55 pm
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