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Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through 
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Post Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
There was once a movie which I felt, for myself, was one of the worst that I've sat through. Before "Freddy Got Fingered" there was the John Leguizamo crash-test vehicle known as "The Pest". It was a move that, to me, made me go from a fan of his stand-up work to someone completely disgusted by his antics.

Before that it was seeing "Cool World" with a friend at the cinema. I think everyone who was exiting was in the same daze of "WTF did I just watch?!?!?!!?"

Have you had the experience of realizing in the back of your mind that the movie you were watching seemed a bit, y'know, off? But you keep yourself watching it in the hope that it gets better. Afterwards, you have to shower afterwards at least five times regarding the experience of that false hope.

I don't have many of those experiences nowadays. Maybe because I don't watch television, much less "premium" movie channels, anymore.

Anyway, it was the initial movie that left a mark in my mind. Admittedly my urge to resist watching really bad stuff has only improved. The last time I came close to watching a really horrid movie was back in 2005: 'Super Mario Bros." Fortunately, since I watched it on a premium movie channel I could say that I don't own it. That and I actually turned it off realizing that it ain't going to get better. So I somewhat spared myself the indignity of watching it all the way through.

Since I don't have a lot of exposure in the way of hype about the only contact I get in finding new releases is here at reelviews.net. That and seeing teh overblown new DVD release kiosks at WallyWorld.

Are there bad movies that I'll sit though nonetheless. Of course! I have "Reefer Madness" which is damn funny until I realized that people still believe the bullshit in that propaganda piece. And while it isn't a movie I do tend to watch the classic "Speed Racer" series just for its kitschy appeal.

So, purge your soul: Does anyone else have any similar experience to experiencing the carnage of a cinematic trainwreck firsthand?

--RB|!R|


Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:15 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
I don't think when there's a truly horrible movie that I watched all the way through in the vain hope it would get better.

However, there are reasons for watching some horrible movies all the way through:

Dirty Love - too busy crying in a fetal position.
Fireproof- too busy attempting to cut myself using a DVD remote
Teen Wolf Too - too busy attempting to eat myself before I realize I taste terrible
Xanadu - That movie sucked the will to do anything...including wacky attempts at suicide
The Pest - too frozen in fear


Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:37 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
LEGION! I was on vacation with my gf who was on a business trip and while she was working, I sat through this pile of fecal matter. Absolutely garbage.....


Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:46 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Well I was forced to sit through some movies back in school that I absolutely HATED, The Waterboy being one of them, I didn't immediately recognize how bad that film was while watching it, it took a few hours after it ended for that to sink in, Sandler is easily the most irritating comic actor ever IMO(though he is getting better, as his latest films have actually been somewhat tolerable) nd I also saw part of Master Of Disguise in the same way, fortunately outside cirucmstances prevented me from having to sit through the rest of that godawful film. But I can't think of many examples where I sat through a horrible film of my own free will, and the few times I have, I usually end up fast forwarding through half of the film in order to minimize the pain. Though I can think of a few mediocre films which I kept watching because I hoped they would get better and they never did, Black Rain being one such example, and I also regretted seeing 30 Days Of Night in theaters, a thoroughly mediocre film that was definitely not worth paying full price for.


Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:54 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Troll 2...couldn't...tear...myself...away...AGHH!!!!!!


Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:39 am
Gaffer

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:50 pm
Posts: 5
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
There are 3 movies I wanted to walk out so bad in the theater. I didn't, but I wished I did.

1. Intersection. Boring. Stared Richard Gere and Sharon Stone. My friend convinced me to see it because it had Stone it.

2. Batman and Robin. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

3. Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen. Sad. Was this movie directed by Jerry Springer?


Tue Feb 02, 2010 2:21 am
Profile
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
JJoshay wrote:
Troll 2...couldn't...tear...myself...away...AGHH!!!!!!


That stupid movie. There was/is a poster, jbucksnb (or something to that effect) that mentioned this was his/her favorite movie fairly often. I started wondering if maybe he/she worked on the film and was trying to widen the cult following. At any rate, the movie was awful and incompetent and all the rest. It was fairly memorable, however. That may have had something to do with the movie touring around to theatres being promoted as "The Worst Movie Ever Made".

For pure dread whilst sitting in stadium seats I'll throw out the terrible Red Eye. The movie was incredibly bad in all the best possible ways. I wasn't bored for a second because I could scarcely believe that a movie as awful as Red Eye could have been made by reasonably talented people. It got worse and worse and worse and, at the same time, became kind of gleeful in its bottomless stupidity.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:02 am
Director

Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:28 pm
Posts: 1537
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
The Boondock Saints: Two hours of bad style over no susbstance.

Good Luck Chuck: Dan Fogler is a nasty man.

I Now... Chuck & Larry: Homophobic and hates to admit it.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:12 am
Profile YIM
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
majoraphasia wrote:
JJoshay wrote:
Troll 2...couldn't...tear...myself...away...AGHH!!!!!!


That stupid movie. There was/is a poster, jbucksnb (or something to that effect) that mentioned this was his/her favorite movie fairly often. I started wondering if maybe he/she worked on the film and was trying to widen the cult following. At any rate, the movie was awful and incompetent and all the rest. It was fairly memorable, however. That may have had something to do with the movie touring around to theatres being promoted as "The Worst Movie Ever Made".

For pure dread whilst sitting in stadium seats I'll throw out the terrible Red Eye. The movie was incredibly bad in all the best possible ways. I wasn't bored for a second because I could scarcely believe that a movie as awful as Red Eye could have been made by reasonably talented people. It got worse and worse and worse and, at the same time, became kind of gleeful in its bottomless stupidity.
Yeah I didn't like Red Eye much either, but I wouldn't say it's awful, just mediocre and forgettable.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:01 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
I agreed to go watch a movie the day after a first date. It was the biggest mistake ever. She invited her best friend, who seemed to have some hatred towards men and was a total Debbie Downer. I also made the unfortunate assumption that the girl I was going to watch the movie with had good taste. They made me watch 'He's Just Not That Into You', a movie I would have otherwise completely ignored. Besides the overwhelming amount of discomfort, I really, really, really, didn't like that movie. Perhaps the book was better (usually the case), but I wanted to sneak out of there more than anything.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:19 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
With the exception of Satyricon, I don't think that I've ever turned off a movie. Seen loads of awful ones all the way through. So, maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 2:42 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Image
Image


Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:33 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Precious.


Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:41 pm
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
I think Grandma's Boy, which is a bad movie by most standards, may be a modern classic in terms of "so bad it's good" filmmaking. I'm starting to think it's brilliant in the way the actors ruin every single bit of potential the film could have had. Maybe I should lay off the pot and video games, but I have every desire to watch the film again. This movie may end up being more appropriately placed in the topic about movies that make you smile, nestled between Pulp Fiction and In the Loop. Am I going crazy?


Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:01 am
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Battlefield Earth, I just had to see how unbelievably crazy that film could get, it's awful in the best way, from the laughable FX, to Travolta's insane performance, to the asinine and completely nonsensical plot, to the ridiculous dialogue and watching Forest Whittaker make a complete fool of himself, there's just way too many things to laugh at in that film to truly hate it.


Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:38 am
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Vexer wrote:
Battlefield Earth, I just had to see how unbelievably crazy that film could get, it's awful in the best way, from the laughable FX, to Travolta's insane performance, to the asinine and completely nonsensical plot, to the ridiculous dialogue and watching Forest Whittaker make a complete fool of himself, there's just way too many things to laugh at in that film to truly hate it.


Agreed. Agreed that the movie is terrible in all conceivable ways and agreed that the movie is impossible to hate -- it's too inept and, let's face it, crippled by endless bad ideas to take serious enough to hate through and through.

The Love Guru is more along the lines of a movie that is so bad it defies reason. There was nothing at all enjoyable about the Meyers movie and to put it behind Battlefield Earth is more an act of politeness than conceding the point that Travolta's movie is too pathetic to not feel a little sorry for.


Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:18 am
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
majoraphasia wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Battlefield Earth, I just had to see how unbelievably crazy that film could get, it's awful in the best way, from the laughable FX, to Travolta's insane performance, to the asinine and completely nonsensical plot, to the ridiculous dialogue and watching Forest Whittaker make a complete fool of himself, there's just way too many things to laugh at in that film to truly hate it.


Agreed. Agreed that the movie is terrible in all conceivable ways and agreed that the movie is impossible to hate -- it's too inept and, let's face it, crippled by endless bad ideas to take serious enough to hate through and through.

The Love Guru is more along the lines of a movie that is so bad it defies reason. There was nothing at all enjoyable about the Meyers movie and to put it behind Battlefield Earth is more an act of politeness than conceding the point that Travolta's movie is too pathetic to not feel a little sorry for.


You morons, while you were learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME...I was being trained to conquer GALAXIES!



But on a more serious note, Captivity. I had to see how low it would go in making something so disgusting and vile that it should've been killed somewhere in development. Turns out, it went pretty low.


Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:39 am
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Patrick wrote:
majoraphasia wrote:
Vexer wrote:
Battlefield Earth, I just had to see how unbelievably crazy that film could get, it's awful in the best way, from the laughable FX, to Travolta's insane performance, to the asinine and completely nonsensical plot, to the ridiculous dialogue and watching Forest Whittaker make a complete fool of himself, there's just way too many things to laugh at in that film to truly hate it.


Agreed. Agreed that the movie is terrible in all conceivable ways and agreed that the movie is impossible to hate -- it's too inept and, let's face it, crippled by endless bad ideas to take serious enough to hate through and through.

The Love Guru is more along the lines of a movie that is so bad it defies reason. There was nothing at all enjoyable about the Meyers movie and to put it behind Battlefield Earth is more an act of politeness than conceding the point that Travolta's movie is too pathetic to not feel a little sorry for.


You morons, while you were learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME...I was being trained to conquer GALAXIES!



But on a more serious note, Captivity. I had to see how low it would go in making something so disgusting and vile that it should've been killed somewhere in development. Turns out, it went pretty low.
I'll admit to seeing Capitvity in theaters, and while I did cringe a few times, I cna't say I found it NEARLY as disgusitng and vile as you did, course that could be mainly because after all the disturbing straight-to-video films I saw ( the August Underground series being one example), Captivity came across as, well tame, I know you might find that hard to believe, but trust me, Captivity looks like a goddamn Disney movie next to one of the August Underground films! :shock:


Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:55 am
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Vexer wrote:
Battlefield Earth, I just had to see how unbelievably crazy that film could get, it's awful in the best way, from the laughable FX, to Travolta's insane performance, to the asinine and completely nonsensical plot, to the ridiculous dialogue and watching Forest Whittaker make a complete fool of himself, there's just way too many things to laugh at in that film to truly hate it.


I only watched "Battlefield Earth" once from beginning to end. And the one thing I couldn't get out of my mind was the logistics of the differing earth/alien atmospheres. The thing I couldn't shake was that there was no airlock between the two airspaces! Both are connected by a tunnel so I wonder if any of the people who bothered to "think" realized a huge hole in simple science there.

If I was a character in that movie I'd be all, "Hey! Let's rig up a few fans in those tunnels and blow some of earth's air down the shafts and kill 'em all (there aren't wearing their respirators in their "safe" area)! You can even have one of the humans infiltrate and find those alien respirators and destroy 'em beforehand! But then there would be no need for the climatic "action" scene. I'd get all cutsey and say, "Blow me, alien motherfucker! Suck on this!" when turning the fans on full blast!

Not since the revelation of "Independence Day" that we can take down those alien sons of bitches with a couple Macintosh computers have I seen something so lame.

Another BE omission: A snarky joke related to a cow with no legs and "ground beef". All these targets of opportunity for humor and no one took advantage of them! BE would've made a damn fine satire of SF epics. ;-)

Oh no! Not Supa Dupa Scientologist John Travolta! That's the fucked up thing with all cults: No matter how ultimately cheesy their shit is they have to be all reverent to the material at hand. It's that mental blindfold that keeps them from seeing how absurd their nonsense is to those not involved with or have deprogrammed from such cultism.

So BE isn't an example of being a bad movie because of dubious production values. It could have transcended the genre and effectively parodied it better than a MAD movie satire. Which is the topic for another thread...

--RB|!R|


Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:02 pm
Director

Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:28 pm
Posts: 1537
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Post Re: Awful Movies You Just Had To Sit Through
Law Abiding Citizen: This past Friday, this film gave Transformers 2 a run for its money with the most dumbest, idiotic, and stupifying plot holes I've ever seen.


Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:04 pm
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