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How BIG Of A James Fan Are You? 
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Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Evenflow8112 wrote:
The link to the song is here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Phil-Spires/26127476930


It was recorded on a digital camera three months ago, so you might need to read these in conjuction with listening.


He is a critic
A learned man
Watching those films
He's got a greater plan...

He is a cynic
He's in it to win it
Lots of vowels in his name
Very proficient
Fair and specific
To all the films that he rates, so..

Click on the links__

Onto Toronto
Bringing his poncho__
Got lots of films to see
(C r e d i b i l i t y)

He hates all the fakers
The Bolls and the Grangers
Rather watch 'Moolade'
Gives to the takers
No money-maker
You can brighten his day...

Click on the links___ (X4)

<Bridge>

It's 2017
He's homeless in Texas
He is crazy now....
You should have helped him out!

Click on the links___(X3)



OH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Quote:
"It's 2017
He's homeless in Texas
He is crazy now....
You should have helped him out!"


Even if Evenflow8112 starts writing nothing but anti-semitic and/or racist rants about who's controlling whom there will always be this song. It's good for 1,000 karma points, easy. I want a song devoted to the years 2009-2017 that chronicle his move to Texas and the loss of his money/sanity.


Mon May 18, 2009 10:04 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
I don't know how many points this scores me as a James fan, but I mentioned him in my blog today.

I've also corresponded with him by email a couple of times. On one occasion, we debated whether Batman or Indiana Jones would be the king of the summer box office. I am pleased to report that I was correct, even though we didn't wager anything and the result was more a matter of chance than evidence.


Mon May 18, 2009 11:26 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Really, a song? That's a bit stalkerish Evenflow. Have you made a Berardinelli hair doll yet? Or called his house and hung up the phone? Have you at anytime filmed him either with video or audio or taken multiple pictures of him in or around his house? Is Single White Female your favorite movie? Are you hoping that one day this site is reelviews with Evenflow? Have you legally asked your name to be changed to James?

;)


Tue May 19, 2009 8:35 am
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Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
ed_metal_head wrote:
2006? Bah! I'm pretty sure the gardening accident predates that. Seriously though people, why does no-one remember the gardening accident? It really happened...he didn't put on his gloves that day! Was no-one else traumatized?


It wasn't a gardening accident. It was poison ivy or poison oak, all over my fingers on both hands. I should have put on the gloves but was too lazy. It happened around the time I was getting my previous house re-painted, so that would have been autumn 2006.

Amazing that anyone remembers that. Even I had forgotten about it.


Tue May 19, 2009 10:52 am
Profile WWW
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
majoraphasia wrote:
I want a song devoted to the years 2009-2017 that chronicle his move to Texas and the loss of his money/sanity.


Seconded. 9 years is a whole lotta time though. Perhaps a trilogy in five parts?

James Berardinelli wrote:
It wasn't a gardening accident. It was poison ivy or poison oak, all over my fingers on both hands. I should have put on the gloves but was too lazy. It happened around the time I was getting my previous house re-painted, so that would have been autumn 2006.

Amazing that anyone remembers that. Even I had forgotten about it.


Hmmm, sounds to me like you accidentally came into contact with poison-something while gardening ;)

And it's a good thing that I reminded you. I read somewhere that those who forget the past are doomed. There might be more to that saying, but I forget sometimes.


Tue May 19, 2009 12:33 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
I really don't know what attracted me to Mr. B's site years ago. I've always liked movies and I would look into my favorites online and I think some how a Google search got me into Reelviews. Once I started reading his reviews, I was hooked. Mr. B writes extremely well. What I particularly enjoy is that he tells it how it is...not pulling punches.

Before the forums, Reelviews was a site I would visit on a daily basis. After the forums, it's a site I visit, what, hourly? Mr. B attracted a great bunch of movie lovers who have some really good conversations about loads of topics. I love reading you guys...learning from you guys.

Anyways, how big of a fan am I of Mr. B? I'm not married to him. I don't write songs about him. But I definitely enjoy reading anything he writes and will continue to do so as long as the site exists. Oh yeah, I click the Google links whenever I can also.

Keep up the great work Mr. B.


Tue May 19, 2009 5:16 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Haha, steifmo, I love writing music/lyrics/etc. I'd write a song about a mop if you let me ;) The imaginary descent of James' sanity is too much to resist ;)


'2009 - 2017'


James was waking up
The day started well enough
Turn on the TV and stared at the screen
News about his favorite actor, Zooey

She's getting married
She's getting married
The torch that he carried
Has faded out again
Heartbreak in his head

James, oh, James, he lost his way his way
He knew that one day this would come, and he thought he'd be numb
But he can't stand the pain

He went onto his site, read all the e-mails
Life had little to offer
He was sad and depressed
Head was a mess and he knew that she wouldn't do anymore nude scenes

James, oh, James, he lost his way
Nobody could reach him, oh what he lost that day
Spouting racist remarks, at all of his fans
Making a mockery of all his plans
James James James is going cra____zed

The tragedy increased for B
He lost his job trying to steal the soda machine
All the bills came in, too deep to swim
The waters gulped him up
He had suffered long enough
He wanted Zooey

So he shaved his head into a mohawk
And tried to assassinate Barack Obama
So he traveled to Houston, lying in wait
For a presidential tour that never came
He'd sit and dream of JFK
He just wanted one shot I guess you could say___

James, oh, James, no one knows where he went
He had a catastrophic incident
He finally likes how Apocalypse Now ends
Tom Green is his favorite comedian

Poor James, poor James
Sad sad sad
Now he sleeps in Wal-Mart
Now he fishes for soda cans
Now he is a Nader fan
Now he watches Friends and laughs

Oh, James

He'll never

Be

The same_____


Tue May 19, 2009 5:39 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
I know what you're all thinking:


'How do I follow that up?'



Well, it's easy, if you wrote it :lol:


Sun May 24, 2009 4:42 am
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
you mean zooey has done nude scenes? :shock:


please continue....


Sun May 24, 2009 10:28 am
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
ed_metal_head wrote:
James Berardinelli wrote:
It wasn't a gardening accident. It was poison ivy or poison oak, all over my fingers on both hands. I should have put on the gloves but was too lazy. It happened around the time I was getting my previous house re-painted, so that would have been autumn 2006.

Amazing that anyone remembers that. Even I had forgotten about it.


Hmmm, sounds to me like you accidentally came into contact with poison-something while gardening ;)

And it's a good thing that I reminded you. I read somewhere that those who forget the past are doomed. There might be more to that saying, but I forget sometimes.


hmmm.... poison ivy. when i heard gardening accident i was hoping for something more violent. maybe some shears. well not hoping, as it had no stake in anything i would feel, but rather expecting. maybe he accidentally stabbed his foot....i dont know. poison ivy sounds boring.


Sun May 24, 2009 10:37 am
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
aameen wrote:
ed_metal_head wrote:
James Berardinelli wrote:
It wasn't a gardening accident. It was poison ivy or poison oak, all over my fingers on both hands. I should have put on the gloves but was too lazy. It happened around the time I was getting my previous house re-painted, so that would have been autumn 2006.

Amazing that anyone remembers that. Even I had forgotten about it.


Hmmm, sounds to me like you accidentally came into contact with poison-something while gardening ;)

And it's a good thing that I reminded you. I read somewhere that those who forget the past are doomed. There might be more to that saying, but I forget sometimes.


hmmm.... poison ivy. when i heard gardening accident i was hoping for something more violent. maybe some shears. well not hoping, as it had no stake in anything i would feel, but rather expecting. maybe he accidentally stabbed his foot....i dont know. poison ivy sounds boring.



I hear the term gardening accident and I immediately think of this exchange:

David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.


Sun May 24, 2009 10:54 am
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
aameen wrote:
hmmm.... poison ivy. when i heard gardening accident i was hoping for something more violent. maybe some shears. well not hoping, as it had no stake in anything i would feel, but rather expecting. maybe he accidentally stabbed his foot....i dont know. poison ivy sounds boring.


If he stabbed his foot there wouldn't have been a problem. It was His hands, man, His hands! Don't you know those hands type the words that shine bright in my eyes as I venture forth into the great unknown (hat-tip to Evenflow).


Sun May 24, 2009 12:14 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
ed_metal_head wrote:
aameen wrote:
hmmm.... poison ivy. when i heard gardening accident i was hoping for something more violent. maybe some shears. well not hoping, as it had no stake in anything i would feel, but rather expecting. maybe he accidentally stabbed his foot....i dont know. poison ivy sounds boring.


If he stabbed his foot there wouldn't have been a problem. It was His hands, man, His hands! Don't you know those hands type the words that shine bright in my eyes as I venture forth into the great unknown (hat-tip to Evenflow).


ohhh....so it was about your inconvenience because of it, not his accident itself......





:twisted:


Sun May 24, 2009 12:56 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
aameen wrote:

ohhh....so it was about your inconvenience because of it, not his accident itself......


:twisted:


Hell yeah! This is some sort of addiction thread you know.


Mon May 25, 2009 12:15 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Evenflow, the Zooey Deschanel song is hilarious!!!!
When I read the news about her engagement, I actually called James to offer my condolences lol.
Write more songs when you're bored.


Mon May 25, 2009 8:21 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
sheryl wrote:
Evenflow, the Zooey Deschanel song is hilarious!!!!
When I read the news about her engagement, I actually called James to offer my condolences lol.
Write more songs when you're bored.


What, she is?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mon May 25, 2009 10:04 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Patrick wrote:
sheryl wrote:
Evenflow, the Zooey Deschanel song is hilarious!!!!
When I read the news about her engagement, I actually called James to offer my condolences lol.
Write more songs when you're bored.


What, she is?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



It would be cool if you put a Darth Vader helmet on before you screamed that... 8-)


Mon May 25, 2009 10:32 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Moovy1 wrote:
Patrick wrote:
sheryl wrote:
Evenflow, the Zooey Deschanel song is hilarious!!!!
When I read the news about her engagement, I actually called James to offer my condolences lol.
Write more songs when you're bored.


What, she is?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



It would be cool if you put a Darth Vader helmet on before you screamed that... 8-)


I only do Calculon-style NOOOOOOO's! Not Vader-style nooooooo's.


Mon May 25, 2009 10:41 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Quote:
I only do Calculon-style NOOOOOOO's! Not Vader-style nooooooo's.



:lol: :lol: :lol:



:D


Mon May 25, 2009 10:57 pm
Post Re: How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?
Moovy1 wrote:
Quote:
I only do Calculon-style NOOOOOOO's! Not Vader-style nooooooo's.



:lol: :lol: :lol:



:D


Patrick just earned himself a free, shiny quarter for making a Futurama reference that inspired one of the more memorable visualizations I've had reading this forum. You can almost see Michael Biehn trying to comfort him.


Mon May 25, 2009 11:02 pm
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