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Awesome/funny quotes from the forum 
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Post Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
Alright so I'm bored and I've seen this in a couple forums that I've been into. It's basically putting an awesome and/or funny quote here so it can be preserved forever...or just shows the funniest posts in one topic, whatever. Also, it would be preferable to link to the topic it came from but you don't have to do it. Lastly, you can't put your own quotes in there, be kind to others.

Movies You Own... With Darker Motives

Evenflow8112 wrote:
This thread might not have alot of posts.. but I'll be damned if I'm not proud (and by proud, I mean horrified) that it gets bumped so often.

You know, like Gong Li does in Miami Vice...

PS: If there's a post in there that isn't a quote, it's going to be deleted.

Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:54 pm
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
This is gold, I tell you, GOLD!

From How BIG Of A James Fan Are You?

majoraphasia wrote:
Strange question, isn't it? It's one step past the line of geek.

I'm a fan of the reviews, particularly those from the late 1990s into the early 2000s when a good word for movies like Requiem for a Dream and Minority Report got me into the theatres when I had absolutely no intention to see either. A good review (3.5 to 4 stars) usually is enough to get me to watch whatever it may be but I think it ends there. I don't read all of the commentaries and I skip over reviews for things like X-Men and 17 Again when I don't care how good, bad, or mediocre a movie is if I have zero interest in ever seeing it.

Aside from that, I've got several tattooes of James and an intricately designed set of piercings that, if light is bounced off them correctly, reveal a complex stereogram of Mr. Berardinelli pruning a tree. My bedroom is littered with posters of James' visage and I have a shrine set up in every room. I wear, and frequently hand out, bracelets that read "WWJBD?" and only do things I believe James would approve of. I only shower once a week on what I've dubbed "Berardsday", a full 24-hour devotional that includes a ceremonial reading of every review and profane-laden cornerside rants delivered at top volume into the faces of everyone that passes by. I consider his review of The Hottie and the Nottie quite possibly the best example of literature the last 100 years of letters has to offer. For Halloween I go as myself as, every other day of the year, I wear my JB costume everywhere I go. When people ask me who I'm trying to imitate I simply say "God". I've written "Mrs. James Berardinelli" on all of my book jackets and on the book jackets of anyone that passes within 4 inches of me.

So, really, I'm not that big of a fan. A faithful reader but nothing more, really.

Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:32 pm
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
my sig.

AND my previous sig.
I almost wished that Oscars showed balls and picked someone else but then Heath's mom is kinda MILFy...

will update if i thing of others. just wanted to get these out of the way.

Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:23 pm
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
From the "Chock Full o' Quotely Goodness" A Cinematic Journey thread:

Patrick wrote:
Movies that I've given 10/10 too...prepare to be saddened:

Sin City
Batman Begins
The Lion King
My Fair Lady
Lady and the Tramp
Toy Story 1 and 2
Gone with the Wind
Forrest Gump
Hannah and her Sisters
Superman II(not one though)
Star Wars Episode IV and V
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Planet of the Apes(1968)
Field of Dreams
The Iron Giant
The Manchurian Candidate(Frankenheimer, not Demme)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
The Princess Bride
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Godfather Part II(not one though)
City of God
Run Lola Run
From Dusk 'Til Dawn(what?)
Dark City
Nightmare on Elm Street
Fight Club(all time favorite movie)
Alien and Aliens
The French Connection
The Thing(John Carpenter)
Pulp Fiction
Do the Right Thing
Terminator 1 and 2
Cinema Paradiso
The Shining
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover
Die Hard
Taxi Driver
Almost Famous
Castle in the Sky
Requiem for a Dream
King Kong '33
12 Angry Men
Some Like it Hot
The Marine(yes the one with Cena...and I gave it a 10/10 for how awesomely bad it was. I couldn't stop laughing and was wildly entertained)
Casino Royale(The Craig one)
Hot Fuzz
There Will Be Blood

My time at the Reelviews forum has consisted of wasting others' time and conducting a long-term research project into figuring out Patrick. It's difficult, time-consuming work. This is my personal favorite of his posts because (a) it features an apology for itself and (b) contained within it is the best evidence that he's got a war waging inside of his mind. Hot Fuzz alongside My Fair Lady. Cloverfield lunching with Goodfellas. Taxi Driver and Predator. Take all of Shakespeare's protagonists and distil them into one person. Who do you have? Patrick.

Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:01 am
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum

Moovy1 wrote:

That guy (ish) looks like the last in line at a casting call for a Tool video...


You're right! I'd say The Order was just about what you'd expect to see if you've been receiving a steady diet of Nine Inch Nails and Tool videos. It's moviemaking done by someone who has been living in a Skinner box for the past 30 years and, upon his release, being given a brochure on Free Masons and a video camera.

"Go," they say, "go make a f*cking strange object using your proto-language, Skinner Box Man!"

Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:25 pm
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
From 10th Anniversary of "Star Wars: Episode 1 - Phantom Menace"

Damaj wrote:

Episode 1 bought my childhood a drink.
Episode 2 asked my childhood to come home with it. My childhood said no.
Episode 3 bought my childhood another drink, this time a roofie-colada.
IJ4 had its way with my childhood in the back of a rusted-out late 70's Monte Carlo.

Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:33 pm
Post Re: Awesome/funny quotes from the forum
This gem is from the Last Movie You Watched thread...from one of my favorite posters.

majoraphasia wrote:
Spanglish. I fell asleep some ten minutes into it and, upon waking, felt completely restored and full of buoyant energy as I watched the end credits roll. I can't attest to the quality of the movie but I can say this: that nap was spectacular. As the movie unfolded before me I rested more comfortably than I have in a long time. As Spanglish contained no explosions, dazzling special effects, or anything that woke me from a truly well-earned respite from a screaming child or ringing phone, I can only conclude that this James L. Brooks film is a masterpiece. That I haven't seen 95% of it and couldn't possibly begin to give an outline of the plot is of no consequence; it will be fondly remembered by me as I look back on Spanglish as the movie I slept in front of without stirring once. Not many movies have affected me like that. To the cast and crew of Spanglish: Thank you.

No, thank you major.

Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:38 am
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