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June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy" 
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Post June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
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Fri Jun 15, 2012 3:13 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
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Why? Not just because there are contrarians out there determined to mess up a perfect score. (Although those exist - how else to explain that NO ONE has ever been elected unanimously to the Baseball Hall of Fame.)


Agree completely. But don't forget stupidity/lack of knowledge. I remember an interview with one of the people who said Rickey Henderson didn't deserve the Hall of Fame. He apparently had no idea Rickey was the all time leader in runs and second in walks

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Fri Jun 15, 2012 3:28 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
An ex and I walked out of Borat on our first date. We ended up being able communicate pretty well together because we both really hated that movie and were able to connect on that level.

Of course, being able to communicate well meant nothing when her pervious ex suddenly became single again...


Fri Jun 15, 2012 5:30 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
A first date movie might work if both are movie buffs and the film picked to watch appeals to both. Otherwise a dinner for a first date is always a safe choice, particularly to start to know each other.

Now and then movies like Titanic and /or Jerry MaGuirre that normally appeal to ladies and gentleman comes along and you can seize that opportunity too ;-)

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Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:19 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
JamesKunz wrote:
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Why? Not just because there are contrarians out there determined to mess up a perfect score. (Although those exist - how else to explain that NO ONE has ever been elected unanimously to the Baseball Hall of Fame.)


Agree completely. But don't forget stupidity/lack of knowledge. I remember an interview with one of the people who said Rickey Henderson didn't deserve the Hall of Fame. He apparently had no idea Rickey was the all time leader in runs and second in walks


And stolen bases.

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Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:09 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
Heckling bad movies is definitely a communal experience.

This does require a date with a certain kind of personality, though.


Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:46 pm
Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
Heh. A Reelthought a little off the beaten path for once. :)


I guess you're right. A movie is just something for the couple to talk about if they're shy or uncomfortable talking about themselves(or are too young to have anything substantial to talk about).


Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:52 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
A friend once told me she didn't like the idea of a movie for a first date because you don't get much chance to talk. In a way I agree. On a first date you don't really want to devote that much to thinking about story and characters.

I once went on a date to see Cadillac Records. The friend I went with had split from her husband of 2 years not long before. There's a scene in CR where Adrien Brody says to Beyonce (when she's singing "All I Could Do Was Cry") "imagine that you're singing that to you're husband". When he says that I look over at my friend. She seems to be handling it okay. I reach over and put my arms around her as a sign of reassurance. Later she told me she realized what I was trying to do and appreciated it.

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Sun Jun 17, 2012 4:13 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
I remember the first movie I went to without my parents or an adult (which would have been a relative). It was 1989, and my two best friends and I went to our local movie theater together to see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I was 10. My family had the two previous movies on VHS. The three of us felt very adult going to a movie theater just us friends. We enjoyed the movie tremendously.

That movie theater no longer exists, and the mall it was connected to was converted into a charter school about a decade ago.


Sun Jun 17, 2012 10:41 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
Oh man. This might just spiral into a completely different discussion, but I'm pretty sure my first movie with a friend and no parents was Jingle All The Way, the horribly half-baked excuse for a holiday movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, and Jake Lloyd.

The thing is, we were both big Star Wars nuts, and at that screening, they showed the trailer for the 1997 re-releases. We were probably both too excited to pay any proper attention to the movie.

We also had no idea how else the destinies of Jake Lloyd and Star Wars might dovetail.


Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:36 pm
Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
I rather disagree with James' premise that the communal aspect of watching a movie in a movie theater isn't important and that movie watching is an inherently solitary experience. Communal appreciation of stories is hardwired into the psyche of humanity on an evolutionary level. Whether it's gathering in the dining hall while Homer tells stories about heroes and gods or being a groundling in the Globe Theater or watching the latest movie in faux IMAX, the communal experience is a constant. We've been doing it for probably hundreds of thousands of years, and I hope we continue to do it.

Also, if you're going to a movie theater with a friend or friends, there's more to watching the movie than just watching the movie. There's the decision process of which movie to see and where to see it and then there's the discussion and critiquing that takes place afterward. If the people involved are movie buffs, that can be a very rewarding first date in my experience.

Pro tip: Try to arrange it so that you see the movie before dinner. It makes for a more enjoyable experience, I think. If you have dinner before the movie, then you're putting a time limit on dinner, and dinner often feels rushed as a result. If you have dinner after the movie, then the post-movie discussion and critiquing lends itself well to lengthy and enjoyable conversation over dinner.


Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:35 pm
Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
This Reelthoughts sounds so remarkably similar to a somewhat recent thread in General Discussion.

I believe that people's experiences will shape their opinion on a viewing regardless of how those around them respond.

Ex. My grandfather sits and quietly watches a hilarious episode of M.A.S.H. with everybody in the room laughing. Apparently, when he was a medic in Korea he didn't find much to laugh about.

Granted, this is an extreme example, but we form our opinions internally, not based on the reactions around us. That's the difference between a movie and a live concert, where seeing it with "the right crowd" can make or break the experience.

Unless you're with a loud crowd in a movie theater, there is NO communal experience. Everyone generally just sits quietly and watches events unfold.
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Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:15 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
There is also the angle that choosing a movie on a first date can have certain repercussions.Letting your date choose the movie could tell you a lot about them.If they have the choice between The Artist and Jack and Jill and they choose Adam Sandler saying they hate pretentious Euro trash movies the relationship is so over.The other side is picking the wrong movie yourself where you take a first date to "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" and she not really interested in getting ride home with you afterwards for some reason.

That is why the rom-com genre of movie was invented to give guys a nice safe investment where nothing can go wrong and your date comes out dewy eyed with the warm and fuzzies.


Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:48 am
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
oakenshield32 wrote:
That is why the rom-com genre of movie was invented to give guys a nice safe investment where nothing can go wrong and your date comes out dewy eyed with the warm and fuzzies.

And they wonder why guys have a reputation for not calling girls back.


Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:47 am
Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
oakenshield32 wrote:
There is also the angle that choosing a movie on a first date can have certain repercussions.Letting your date choose the movie could tell you a lot about them.If they have the choice between The Artist and Jack and Jill and they choose Adam Sandler saying they hate pretentious Euro trash movies the relationship is so over.The other side is picking the wrong movie yourself where you take a first date to "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" and she not really interested in getting ride home with you afterwards for some reason.

That is why the rom-com genre of movie was invented to give guys a nice safe investment where nothing can go wrong and your date comes out dewy eyed with the warm and fuzzies.

I think it's extremely shallow to judge a person just by what movies they like.


Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:32 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
Vexer wrote:
oakenshield32 wrote:
There is also the angle that choosing a movie on a first date can have certain repercussions.Letting your date choose the movie could tell you a lot about them.If they have the choice between The Artist and Jack and Jill and they choose Adam Sandler saying they hate pretentious Euro trash movies the relationship is so over.The other side is picking the wrong movie yourself where you take a first date to "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" and she not really interested in getting ride home with you afterwards for some reason.

That is why the rom-com genre of movie was invented to give guys a nice safe investment where nothing can go wrong and your date comes out dewy eyed with the warm and fuzzies.

I think it's extremely shallow to judge a person just by what movies they like.


Why is that shallow? If you like Freddy Got Fingered, but hate Goodfellas, that tells me a lot about you

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Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:35 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
I've also found that oddly specific tastes (e.g. someone who only watches dead teenager movies/black and white movies/Adam Sandler movies/whatever) are a warning sign. Not that a person is bad for having those tastes, but the issue isn't whether people are good or bad, but whether or not their personalities are compatible with yours.


Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:16 pm
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Post Re: June 15, 2012: "The First Date Movie Fallacy"
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And they wonder why guys have a reputation for not calling girls back.


Quite contrary actually. The formula is happy wife = happy life. When you pick a movie the other person completely hates they unconsciously blame you for the movie's incompetence.Then on the ride or walk home or dinner afterwards you have to listen to how the movie was bad,the evening was ruined and it is your fault.I have seen several occasions of wives and girlfriends lighting up their half coming out of the movie for how bad it was and it seem they were demanding an apology which they usually got.There was a very pretty lady berating her boyfriend going into the movie that if this movie was bad like the other ones you pick we are over.Her boyfriend in his best groveling voice insisted that it will be good you'll see.My all time memorable moment for how a movie affects friendships is coming out of "The Crying Game" and seeing a big jock guy in the lobby going beserk(not an overstatement) with waving his hands,grabbing his head and shouting at his male buddy."I can't believe that you made me watch that" "I'm so messed up right now""What the hell were you thinking".It was actually more entertaining than the movie was watching him go on and on and on while his friend was profusely apologizing about how he thought it was a crime movie and he didn't know what was going to happen.


Quote:
I think it's extremely shallow to judge a person just by what movies they like.


No I have found it a good gauge for people your compatible with. If you had someone that only wanted to watch hard core porn all the time and kept inviting you to his house to watch his "movies" then you can say that there is something I don't like about this person.Would that be shallow.If is it someone who's intelligence and personality you trust in all other areas of life you allow them to have their popcorn movies guilty pleasures but if you suspect the person is not that well rounded and not that great to talk to and their movie choices always confirmed that then life is just too short to waste time on bad cinema.They will find a partner who does like those movies and they will have a great time together watching Battleship while you can find someone to watch Battleship Potemkin and discuss it afterwards.


Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:56 pm
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