Cast: Martin Lawrence, Danny DeVito, John Leguizamo, Glenne Headly, Carmen Ejogo, Bernie Mac, Larry Miller, Nora Dunn, Richard Schiff, William Fichtner
Director: Sam Weisman
Producers: Ashok Amritraj, Wendy Dytman
Screenplay: Matthew Chapman, based on the novel by Donald Westlake
Cinematography: Anastas N. Michos
Music: Marc Shaiman
U.S. Distributor: MGM
In answer to the question posed by the title, I can't in all honesty say, "This movie." But that's only because there are far too many Freddy Got Fingereds and Say It Isn't Sos out there. The fact that What's the Worst That Could Happen? is better than these movies should in no way be misconstrued as even a backhanded compliment. It's like comparing stale, moldy, rancid bread with soggy, stale, moldy, rancid bread. Both are equally probable to turn one's stomach, and, if ingested, likely to require some time spent kneeling in front of a toilet bowl.
This is what happens when you combine the writer of a smart script like that of The Grifters (Donald Westlake penned the novel upon which this film is based) with the author of the Bruce Willis debacle, Color of Night (screenwriter Matthew Chapman). Turn this mess over to director Sam Weisman, whose last outing behind the camera (the Steve Martin/Goldie Hawn remake of The Out-of-Towners) should have been his final one, and the result is predictably horrendous. What's the Worst That Could Happen? is an uninvolving bore - a caper comedy that replaces humor and cleverness with tedium and stupidity. Not only is the laugh quotient for this movie pitifully low, but I occasionally felt embarrassed for the actors as they went through the motions.
Kevin Caffery (Martin Lawrence) is a professional thief - a fact that he admits to his cute new girlfriend (Carmen Ejogo) in the wake of sexual bliss. When his friend/partner (John Leguizamo) comes to Kevin with a "foolproof" plan for making a lot of money, the pair are off to rob the beach house of billionaire Max Fairbanks (Danny DeVito), which is supposed to be unoccupied. However, Max is there and he turns the tables on Kevin, not only getting him arrested, but stealing his lucky ring. The rest of the movie involves a series of tired scenarios as Kevin tries to get the ring back and Max avoids returning it - losing millions of dollars, his wife (Nora Dunn), his lawyer (Richard Schiff), his secretary (Glenne Headly), and his self-respect in the process. Rarely has there been a less inspired game of "cat and mouse", with an ending that will send half of the audience into sugar shock.
The film's big name is Martin Lawrence, who plays this part with the enthusiasm and energy of someone on Prozac. Lawrence gives the appearance of a man who would rather be elsewhere - he does some of his signature things - the silly walks, funny faces, and strange body movements, but there's no sense of spontaneity or fun. He's doing them because they're expected of him, and, as a result, they're not funny. His co-star, Danny DeVito, isn't much better. DeVito was probably lured to this film because of its very loose resemblance to The War of the Roses, the Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner black comedy he directed. He acts like he wants to be in another movie. The supporting performers provide what little interest the production offers. Bernie Mac is sporadically amusing as Kevin's mentor, Larry Miller has a moment or two worth a chuckle, and Carmen Ejogo (last seen singing and dancing in Kenneth Branagh's Love's Labour's Lost) is adorable. William Fichtner is gratingly over-the-top as a gay cop who embraces every stereotype imaginable.
For a movie with a decent premise (a thief gets stolen from), What's the Worst That Could Happen? has surprisingly little going for it. The film's "comedy" is a series of cobbled-together obvious jokes that even a blind man could see from a distance. In order to generate laughs, humor requires surprise and energy - this film musters neither. Its big guffaw moments include an old lady macing a couple of cops and a sign language interpreter translating four-letter words. For those scenes, giving the finger is the payoff. For this movie, that's what I felt like giving the filmmakers.
© 2001 James Berardinelli