Cast: Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hayden Panettiere, Spencer Breslin, Abigail Breslin, Helen Mirren
Director: Garry Marshall
Producers: Ashok Amritraj, David Hoberman
Screenplay: Jack Amiel & Michael Begler
Cinematography: Charles Minsky, Michael Stone
Music: John Debney
U.S. Distributor: Touchstone Pictures
As unlikely as it may sound, 2004 is the year when directors Kevin Smith and Garry Marshall have made virtually the same movie. The convergence of the irreverent prince of potty humor and the cringe-worthy captain of schlock must be one of the signs of the impending Apocalypse. Nevertheless, it's impossible to deny that Raising Helen is a near clone of Jersey Girl. There are three significant differences: the main character in Raising Helen is a woman, there are three children instead of one, and the re-location in this film is from New Jersey to New York City, rather than the other way around.
The positive quotes trumpeting this movie's "values" will be as predictable as the unsurprising screenplay. Hoping to dupe would-be patrons into multiplexes, Touchstone will doubtless print the words of quote whores on the Raising Helen posters. So, as an aid to potential consumers of this saccharine fare, I have decided to provide a handy translation guide to faux critic speak.
Quote: "The feel-good movie of the summer!"
Translation: "The most cloying movie of the summer!"
Quote: "Tugs at the heart-strings!"
Translation: "Threatens to induce vomiting!"
Quote: "Kate Hudson is adorable!"
Translation: "Kate Hudson can't act her way out of a box, but she's pleasant to look at and we don't want to offend her mother!"
Quote: "It will make you want to hug your children!"
Translation: "…but only after punishing them for making you sit through this movie!"
Quote: "Director Garry Marshall has done it again!"
Translation: "He sure has!"
Kate Hudson, who may be the most limited actress to have achieved near-A-list status (she has one good performance on her resume: that in Almost Famous), plays overachiever Helen Harris, the executive assistant to Dominique (Helen Mirren), the no-nonsense owner of Dominique's Modeling Agency. Helen's life is turned upside down when her sister dies in a car accident and the will appoints Helen as the guardian for the three children: Audrey (Hayden Panettiere), Henry (Spencer Breslin), and Sarah (Abigail Breslin). Helen's anal sister, Jenny (Joan Cusack), is miffed that she doesn't get the kids (to go along with her own two plus one on the way), and never stops giving advice. But, despite all sorts of obstacles, Helen learns how to be a mother and the children grow to accept her. Ho-hum.
The thing that occasionally makes Raising Helen bearable is that some scenes, many of which feature John Corbett as the likeable Pastor Dan, work. For those willing to endure the movie's too-sweet tone, there are laughs to be had, and Hayden Panettiere's Audrey often seems more like a real teenager than the kind of construct one would expect in a movie of such limited imagination. Nevertheless, those are small rewards for sitting through something that outstays its welcome. At two hours, Raising Helen feels like it's never going to end, and, when the obligatory all-is-forgiven finale finally arrives, it's a welcome relief.
For those who can tolerate this sort of film, it delivers what it promises. There's no sleight of hand. Garry Marshall, whose filmography cries "bland!" with every title (he has made the likes of The Princess Diaries, Runaway Bride, and Pretty Woman), doesn't come close to breaking any new ground. Raising Helen will likely appeal to those who appreciated Jersey Girl, although, to be frank, toned-down Smith still exhibits a lot more edge. This is mediocre summer fare at best, and its allure is strictly limited to a narrow target audience.
© 2004 James Berardinelli